Return to KRONWORLD.

Two days = massive eternity. No, seriously. I'm not joking on this one. We take a couple days off from the old McBlogster, and so many awesome things occurred in the interim:

1. We found out that Niklas Kronwall returns to the lineup...TONIGHT, against Phoenix.

2. As previously reported, Tomas Holmstrom says he may return to the lineup on Friday against the Predators. If this is true, I Can't. Fucking. Wait. (Is anybody else as seriously stoked as we are to have a Friday game to watch instead of a Saturday game? It gives us something to do other than go to sleep at 10 p.m.)

3. Somebody with the most kickass handle ever, DatsyukianGeek, started following us on Twitter. I could not stop thinking about this all weekend.

We also missed recapping the game against the Kings on Saturday, although, unfortunately, we did not miss the suckass game altogether. Can I take a five and talk to you guys for a second? TSO--both of us--had a particularly chaotic week with our jobs and whatnot, so we went underground for the weekend by literally running away. Before you get all worried and commence sending us greeting cards of your own, we're ok. Actually, last week resulted in some pretty good news for me, in the form of a "promotion" (best way to describe it--more money + more hours + more responsibilities) and the hiring of a new employee I'll get to menace. I'm greatly looking forward to it. I'm considering conducting my own interview, just to see if we hit it off. Here, let me run a question by you guys:

Question: Imagine a person enters our workplace, acts a fool, and then departs. Upon said person's departure, I make a killer sarcastic remark. Your reaction:

A. Laugh along appreciatively.

B. Quickly retort with your own snarky statement, thereby one-upping me and becoming my brand-new BFF and de facto soulmate.

C. Chuckle slightly, only because you're a consummate professional, but later give me an exploding fist bump to celebrate my awesomeness.

D. Scold me for my obvious lack of professionalism.

E. Burst into tears because you've never been able to grasp sarcasm. (Note: I do not believe in tears, so I will not offer you a Kleenex.)

I think it's a good barometer, don't you?

Anyway, as previously mentioned, the Wings take on the Coyotes tonight, and, as also previously mentioned, Nik Jr. comes back with a vengeance tonight. Now, if any of you read my comments on here--no, really, you all don't need to raise your hands at once--you may have noticed that I promised one of our readers, Dena, a surprise upon Kronwall's return. You see, Dena, as well as one of our anonymous commenters, has a lovesick, almost actually sick, obsession with #55, and, as you all know, we love to celebrate obsessions and fanatics of all kinds here at TSO. See, others would possibly consider putting them on a reality show or sending her to love rehab (Dr. Drew's available, right?), but over here, we place passionate fans like them on a pedestal. I mean, it's not as if I haven't been caught peering into the window of #96's home. Without further adieu, here goes:

Hey, look, I made a collage without the use of "chickenpox" (my feeble attempt at recreating freckles, as Brian is a freckleface. I'm glad the person who commented that it was chickenpox didn't guess herpes, though. I mean, I would have found it funny, but I'm not sure Brian would have enjoyed being known around the internets as Herpesface. And I definitely wouldn't want to be known as girlfriend of Herpesface. Wait, hearing that in my head just now did make me giggle...)

I have no idea what Dena or the anonymous commenter look like, so I just made them both Smurfs. Hope neither of you mind. Also, you guys have the longest torsos ever. Does that mean you're constantly looking for tunics or muumuus to wear since regular shirts are virtually impossible? On a positive note, can I just say that those shades of lipstick look fabulous on the two of you? Hope you ladies have the time of your lives watching the game tonight.

So that's what's up. The puck drops at 7 p.m. tonight. Alas, we won't be watching it. (Bitchface Versus.) However, you may be treated to one of Brian's fabulous "Recap of a game I didn't watch" recaps. Or you could just go to a blog with standards and consistency. In any event, let's go, Wings!