Christ on a stick, thankyouthankyouthankyou for giving us two points in regulation tonight. Mandatory keyboard explody type celebration time: sdofdofndofodsufowehofsfnds.
Super duper quick thoughts before calling it a night:
1. Welcome back, #96. Homer played like a man possessed tonight. Time and again, I've praised him on here for always working hard, and tonight, he displayed as much hustle and grit as ever. He notched an assist on each of the first two Wings' goals scored, and by the end of the game, he'd put six shots on goal.
2. When Kronner couldn't stay on his skates during one of the Sharks' power plays during the first period, I thought, "Fuck. Not again." Turned out it was just a broken blade on one of his skates. Then, for start of the third period, he didn't return to the bench; Derek Meech took his place on the power play. Late in the third period, FSD reported that Kronwall had a "slight tweak, nothing serious." After the game, Babcock indicated that he "tweaked his ankle." Hmm. I don't believe "tweak" is a serious medical offense, so we'll keep hoping for the best until we hear otherwise, right?
3. Speaking of Meech, he actually played a decent game; on the aforesaid power play, he scored a goal, and he elevated his defensive play throughout the game (particularly noticeable after he scored that goal). Way to finally play as if you give a shit about earning a permanent spot on the team, cochise.
4. Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg both had stellar efforts tonight. Zetterberg scored the Wings' second goal tonight on a power play, and feeling my heart soar while watching Homer reunited with the Eurotwins was a feeling I shant soon forget.
5. Speaking of Pasha, my jaw is still scraping the ground due to the fact that I witnessed Joe Thornton strip him of the puck during a Datsyukian playbook rush. I believe the universe attempted to negate this by later having Nabokov cough up a juicy rebound to Datsyuk, but still...
6. How about Brian Rafalski's defensive play along the boards during the final 60 seconds? Holy Jesus...
7. San Jose is really just too ridiculously good at faceoffs.
8. I like seeing Dan Cleary and Valtteri Filppula play together, and I didn't mind seeing Homer on the second line tonight, either, as much as I love the Flying Circus. I thought these three did a great job maintaining pressure and creating chances.
9. Patrick Eaves's goal was magnificent--I love when our guys are in the right position to catch the other team with the pants around their ankles, which is exactly what happened with San Jose here. Also worth noting is Kris Draper (who earned an assist on Eaves's goal) and Darren Helm, who also both had tremendous efforts tonight. Valtteri Filppula also showed up to rock and roll, earning himself two assists.
10. Joe Thornton is a dickhole for crashing into Jimmy late in the third. But thanks for negating that stressful 6-on-4 sitch, Joe. You just gotta hate it when that happens.
This was the most consistent effort the Wings have put forth recently. They were a little sluggish to start the game, but warmed up to a fever pitch during the final eight minutes of the first period. They were a little uneven at the beginning of the second period, but left all that soon behind after Cleary scored the first of four unanswered Wings' goals. The third period was all around outstanding for Detroit.
We owe ourselves a tiny sigh of relief that the game didn't go into overtime; Nashville earned a point tonight against Phoenix (who won in the 11,403th round of a shootout), Dallas beat Minnesota, Colorado beat Columbus, and Los Angeles topped the Rangers. The standings are so ridiculously tight right now--every little bit counts. The Wings now have 64 points (tied with the Preds). Tomorrow night, we play the delightfully disgusting Anaheim Ducks, who are not far behind us with 59 icky points. We don't need to be reminded of how crucial another regulation win tomorrow is. Let's go, Wings.
Showing posts with label Anaheim Ducks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anaheim Ducks. Show all posts
03 February 2010
06 January 2010
Victory in the U-S-A Coincides with Wings Failing to Roast Ducks
The good news from last night? Team USA won the Gold Medal in the World Juniors Championship game against Canada, triumphing 6-5 in an overtime thriller. Truth be told, we watched the end of regulation and the approximately four minutes of overtime instead of watching most of the first period of the Wings game. Coincidentally, we switched back to the Wings game just in time to witness both of the Ducks' first period goals. Sigh.
A note on Team USA's victory: What a game. Seriously, I haven't seen that fast-paced and competitive of a game in...I'm not sure how long. Both team's defenses played extremely tightly, and play intensified during the third period, with little stoppage until the Americans got called with one of those irritating penalties resulting from a player being shoved into the opposing goaltender by another member of the opposing team. The Canadians scored two goals within a minute of one another late in the third period to force an uber exciting overtime.
A small taste of Olympic fever next month? Sign me up for being super excited.
Now, on to the Wings/Ducks game. We've seen the Wings put forth apathetic efforts in their recent losses; we've also seen them look tired and lethargic. But it's been a while since we've witnessed a game this utterly sloppy. My thoughts, as categorized thusly, in an attempt to begin formulating some sort of logical recap format:
The bright light at the end of the tunnel turned out not to be a train...at first.
In a game in which your team loses 4-1, you've gotta give the best moment of the night to the goalscorer, Valtteri Filppula. Filppula is still "getting back into the groove", as I dubbed his New Year's resolution; it was apparent tonight in his sometimes uneasy skating and handling. His goal, however, on an errant rebound from Jonas Hiller, was a temporary momentum-changer; it's too bad the Ducks scored shortly thereafter to distance the score by two points. This was Fil's first goal since his return five games ago.
I've hit rock bottom. Where's the whiskey?
Choose your own adventure:
1. Saku Koivu notches career goal #200...shorthanded...against us.
2. Brian Rafalski is on the ice and is in some way culpable for all of the Ducks' goals tonight.
3. Corey Perry (bleh) scores a goal after every player ever piles in front of Jimmy Howard.
4. James Wisniewski graces us with his presence with John Keating on FSD+. His day-glo hair singes my retinas.
5. Wings achieve their first loss to the Anaheim Ducks this year in a shitshow of a game.
Scrappiest moment of the night:
When Todd Bertuzzi straight up body-slammed Bobby Ryan. Worth at least 500 points in my book.
Players who didn't piss me off:
1. Valtteri Filppula because he scored the lone goal.
2. Nicklas Lidstrom, who notched an assist on Fil's goal and made crucial defensive moves.
3. Patrick Eaves, who was thisclose to burying a nice breakaway chance.
4. Mattias Ritola, who also created a decent scoring chance.
5. Ville Leino, who watched the game from the rafters.
Players who need to wake the fuck up:
1. Pavel Datsyuk. Although he also earned an assist tonight on Fil's goal, he was largely invisible for most of the game.
2. Brian Rafalski, for the abovesaid.
3. All other defensemen not named Nicklas Lidstrom or Brad Stuart.
Pearls of wisdom from your scrappy grandma:
How do you expect your team to win when they spend 99.9% of the time getting dry humped through the neutral zone?
Once you know, you can never go back.
Well, well. There is something both Derek Meech and Doug Janik excel at, and it's called getting their asses handed to them.
Also, ice melts in Southern California. I know, right? I was as shocked as you are.
Finally, it's nice to see we can still slip into the old patterns of giving a shit for the final 10 minutes of regulation. Because, you know, it would be a shame to squander the game in its entirety.
A note on Team USA's victory: What a game. Seriously, I haven't seen that fast-paced and competitive of a game in...I'm not sure how long. Both team's defenses played extremely tightly, and play intensified during the third period, with little stoppage until the Americans got called with one of those irritating penalties resulting from a player being shoved into the opposing goaltender by another member of the opposing team. The Canadians scored two goals within a minute of one another late in the third period to force an uber exciting overtime.
A small taste of Olympic fever next month? Sign me up for being super excited.
Now, on to the Wings/Ducks game. We've seen the Wings put forth apathetic efforts in their recent losses; we've also seen them look tired and lethargic. But it's been a while since we've witnessed a game this utterly sloppy. My thoughts, as categorized thusly, in an attempt to begin formulating some sort of logical recap format:
The bright light at the end of the tunnel turned out not to be a train...at first.
In a game in which your team loses 4-1, you've gotta give the best moment of the night to the goalscorer, Valtteri Filppula. Filppula is still "getting back into the groove", as I dubbed his New Year's resolution; it was apparent tonight in his sometimes uneasy skating and handling. His goal, however, on an errant rebound from Jonas Hiller, was a temporary momentum-changer; it's too bad the Ducks scored shortly thereafter to distance the score by two points. This was Fil's first goal since his return five games ago.
I've hit rock bottom. Where's the whiskey?
Choose your own adventure:
1. Saku Koivu notches career goal #200...shorthanded...against us.
2. Brian Rafalski is on the ice and is in some way culpable for all of the Ducks' goals tonight.
3. Corey Perry (bleh) scores a goal after every player ever piles in front of Jimmy Howard.
4. James Wisniewski graces us with his presence with John Keating on FSD+. His day-glo hair singes my retinas.
5. Wings achieve their first loss to the Anaheim Ducks this year in a shitshow of a game.
Scrappiest moment of the night:
When Todd Bertuzzi straight up body-slammed Bobby Ryan. Worth at least 500 points in my book.
Players who didn't piss me off:
1. Valtteri Filppula because he scored the lone goal.
2. Nicklas Lidstrom, who notched an assist on Fil's goal and made crucial defensive moves.
3. Patrick Eaves, who was thisclose to burying a nice breakaway chance.
4. Mattias Ritola, who also created a decent scoring chance.
5. Ville Leino, who watched the game from the rafters.
Players who need to wake the fuck up:
1. Pavel Datsyuk. Although he also earned an assist tonight on Fil's goal, he was largely invisible for most of the game.
2. Brian Rafalski, for the abovesaid.
3. All other defensemen not named Nicklas Lidstrom or Brad Stuart.
Pearls of wisdom from your scrappy grandma:
How do you expect your team to win when they spend 99.9% of the time getting dry humped through the neutral zone?
Once you know, you can never go back.
Well, well. There is something both Derek Meech and Doug Janik excel at, and it's called getting their asses handed to them.
Also, ice melts in Southern California. I know, right? I was as shocked as you are.
Finally, it's nice to see we can still slip into the old patterns of giving a shit for the final 10 minutes of regulation. Because, you know, it would be a shame to squander the game in its entirety.
05 January 2010
Wings @ Ducks tonight.
Uh-oh. Thrice in one day? Hope you're not all tapped out.
The last time the Wings faced Anaheim, it was on home ice, and--sniff, sniff--yours truly was in the audience. It was a glorious night.
Let's repeat the magic tonight, fellas.
The big news is that everyone's favorite douchebag center Ryan Getzlaf will be back and ready to rock and roll. Bring it on, fuckbag.
Anyone want to speculate on the over/under for Randy Carlyle's odds of getting fired and how soon?
The last time the Wings faced Anaheim, it was on home ice, and--sniff, sniff--yours truly was in the audience. It was a glorious night.
Let's repeat the magic tonight, fellas.
The big news is that everyone's favorite douchebag center Ryan Getzlaf will be back and ready to rock and roll. Bring it on, fuckbag.
Anyone want to speculate on the over/under for Randy Carlyle's odds of getting fired and how soon?
11 December 2009
Ducks @ Wings tonight.
I almost titled it "TSO & Ducks @ Wings tonight", but I didn't because (A) I don't want to ever, ever, EVER be involved in a compound subject with those people, and (B) I figured it was a little lame to put ourselves on a pedestal, implying that people really care that we'll be in attendance more than they care about the visiting team. Eh, fuck it. We're going to the game. Considering starting the pregame early--like right now--to get really, really pumped.
We found this really awesome place to eat dinner tonight; it's kinda fancy--several courses--and it pretty much specializes in one specific dish. Here's what's on the menu:
Soup: Polish Duck Soup (Czarnina)
Salad: Mixed Greens with Duck L'Orange Cutlets
Appetizer: Foie Gras
Main Course: Peking Duck
Dessert: PAIN
We found this really awesome place to eat dinner tonight; it's kinda fancy--several courses--and it pretty much specializes in one specific dish. Here's what's on the menu:
Soup: Polish Duck Soup (Czarnina)
Salad: Mixed Greens with Duck L'Orange Cutlets
Appetizer: Foie Gras
Main Course: Peking Duck
Dessert: PAIN
10 December 2009
The other side of the coin...
So, we finally got the room situation worked out; thanks for your concerns, everybody. I did have a scrappy word brawl with the lady at the front desk, who didn't particularly care that we were out approximately $650 for the time being. The manager walked up just as I told the person that there was no way it was our problem that the hotel and Travelocity couldn't get their act together. Brian and I both work in customer-service-esque jobs, and there's no way either one of us would ever be allowed to double-charge a customer simply because our respective places of employment didn't receive payment from a third party. Ridiculous. Even more absurdly, this woman started yelling at us in the middle of the lobby. If I did that at my job, I would most likely be shit-canned.
The manager was super nice, though, and upgraded our room to a suite and gave us free lunch and dinner, so I'm pleased with the way it turned out on that end. She handled things very well once it all got out of hand. All in all, I guess what I learned for this experience is not to trust the people checking you in at hotels, even when you ask them specifically if your debit card is being swiped only for incidentals. Also, I learned that some people just suck at life. It was super cute--the woman who had the major attitude with us called our room after lunch (at 3:30) and said that she was supposed to get off work at 3:00, but she wanted to make sure we were settled in to our new room and that everything had worked out, and ordinarily, I would have felt bad putting someone out like that, but considering this entire ordeal wasted essentially our entire day, I didn't really give a fuck. We made sure to fold our clothes extra slowly.
***
The face transplant lady is on Oprah right now. I just upchucked my nachos.
***
And because this post is serving as the yin to my other post's angry yang, here are some things I did enjoy about the game last night:
1. Getting to see Jimmy Howard do what Brian and I call the "Beyonce Running Man" exercise in person. It's one thing that loses a little bit of its luster on television. We also have this really awesomely annoying habit of singing, "All the married Jimmys, all the married Jimmys" when he does it. Don't you feel just a teensy bit saddened that you didn't get to sit with us?
2. Dropping F-bombs ad nauseum and initiating all the children around me into the rough underworld of being scrappy. Hey, what can I say? Those little bastards got the Zamboni toys; maybe they should consider the evening a twofer: free gift AND free important life lesson. (Speaking of the Zamboni toy, I'm pleased that I was on so many people's minds last night; I really thought about snagging one, especially since the game was a wash. To be honest, I didn't see a lot of kids with them, which leads me to believe that maybe Mickey Redmond stole 2,497 of them to build a protective armada. Shhh, don't tell him they're not operative machines...)
3. Best moment ever: Brian and I left the game a little later, as we sat in our seats and waited for the crowd to dissipate a little bit before fighting our way out. Anyway, as we were leaving, we saw Murph up on his perch above the exit, so we yelled "Hey, Muuuuurph!" and he turned around and waved/pointed at us. I totally did the "We-Heart-You" (complete with the heart hand motion. Yes, TSO has mad love for Murph. And no, I am not in seventh grade.). It's in my top three most magical moments ever.
4. Second-best moment ever: Getting to chant, "Bullshit! Bullshit" after the non-goal. MUCH more cathartic than screaming it at my TV/dog/each other.
5. Henrik Zetterberg is amazing. We had really good seats last night, so it was awesome getting to watch him sorta up close. There's just no comparison between watching it in person and watching it on television. I'm not sure I'll be able to leave the Joe tomorrow night. They'll have to pry my cold, dead body away.
6. Todd Bertuzzi shaved, and it made me laugh when I saw him because I thought about how our buddies over at The Production Line prefer to call him Voldemort. Without the weird facial hair, he looks even more like someone from the otherworld.
7. I ran into a crazy St. Louis fan in the bathroom and told her I was in love with her blue wig. I need a red one.
8. I spent all my cash on beer at the game, and you would think that would be sad, but it's really not. It's the fulfillment of a goal: Last week, when I got part of my paycheck cashed, I said to my boss,"This is the money I'm going to get wasted on at the game next week." It really felt special, like all the hours and effort I had put into my job had finally amount to something. I think this is what some people may call "ambition".
9. I don't care that he's in St. Louis. I still love Ty Conklin, and I'm glad I got to see him play last night, although obviously, I'm unhappy with the outcome, and I wish he hadn't played nearly as well. I kept calling him "Conk Block", as I got drunker and drunker as the evening progressed, it kinda morphed into "Conk Blonck", which made me think of a conch shell, which made me wonder why I was talking about seashells, and then I got really confused and thought we were going to the beach.
10. We couldn't find anything to watch when we returned to the hotel room, so we turned FSD on and caught the replay of the game at the beginning of the third period. Here is a real conversation that transpired between Brian and me:
Me: "Wow, I can't believe I missed Kenny Rogers!"
[Moment of silence.]
Brian: "Ummm...you didn't miss it. You started singing it at the game. And you even put it a weird way, like, 'Oh, here's KennyRogersTheGambler,' like it was all one word."
Yiiiiiikes.
So, last night's game was not the best. I'm still stoked for tomorrow night and the craziness that will ensue due to the Ducks coming to town. You know how I feel about the Ducks. Gross. It's going to be so fucking fun!
P.S. I'm kinda surprised: I thought for sure that this guy or that guy would pin the shutout and/or Cleary injury on TSO's presence at the game or in the city of Detroit in general. Whew, dodged a bullet on that one...
The manager was super nice, though, and upgraded our room to a suite and gave us free lunch and dinner, so I'm pleased with the way it turned out on that end. She handled things very well once it all got out of hand. All in all, I guess what I learned for this experience is not to trust the people checking you in at hotels, even when you ask them specifically if your debit card is being swiped only for incidentals. Also, I learned that some people just suck at life. It was super cute--the woman who had the major attitude with us called our room after lunch (at 3:30) and said that she was supposed to get off work at 3:00, but she wanted to make sure we were settled in to our new room and that everything had worked out, and ordinarily, I would have felt bad putting someone out like that, but considering this entire ordeal wasted essentially our entire day, I didn't really give a fuck. We made sure to fold our clothes extra slowly.
***
The face transplant lady is on Oprah right now. I just upchucked my nachos.
***
And because this post is serving as the yin to my other post's angry yang, here are some things I did enjoy about the game last night:
1. Getting to see Jimmy Howard do what Brian and I call the "Beyonce Running Man" exercise in person. It's one thing that loses a little bit of its luster on television. We also have this really awesomely annoying habit of singing, "All the married Jimmys, all the married Jimmys" when he does it. Don't you feel just a teensy bit saddened that you didn't get to sit with us?
2. Dropping F-bombs ad nauseum and initiating all the children around me into the rough underworld of being scrappy. Hey, what can I say? Those little bastards got the Zamboni toys; maybe they should consider the evening a twofer: free gift AND free important life lesson. (Speaking of the Zamboni toy, I'm pleased that I was on so many people's minds last night; I really thought about snagging one, especially since the game was a wash. To be honest, I didn't see a lot of kids with them, which leads me to believe that maybe Mickey Redmond stole 2,497 of them to build a protective armada. Shhh, don't tell him they're not operative machines...)
3. Best moment ever: Brian and I left the game a little later, as we sat in our seats and waited for the crowd to dissipate a little bit before fighting our way out. Anyway, as we were leaving, we saw Murph up on his perch above the exit, so we yelled "Hey, Muuuuurph!" and he turned around and waved/pointed at us. I totally did the "We-Heart-You" (complete with the heart hand motion. Yes, TSO has mad love for Murph. And no, I am not in seventh grade.). It's in my top three most magical moments ever.
4. Second-best moment ever: Getting to chant, "Bullshit! Bullshit" after the non-goal. MUCH more cathartic than screaming it at my TV/dog/each other.
5. Henrik Zetterberg is amazing. We had really good seats last night, so it was awesome getting to watch him sorta up close. There's just no comparison between watching it in person and watching it on television. I'm not sure I'll be able to leave the Joe tomorrow night. They'll have to pry my cold, dead body away.
6. Todd Bertuzzi shaved, and it made me laugh when I saw him because I thought about how our buddies over at The Production Line prefer to call him Voldemort. Without the weird facial hair, he looks even more like someone from the otherworld.
7. I ran into a crazy St. Louis fan in the bathroom and told her I was in love with her blue wig. I need a red one.
8. I spent all my cash on beer at the game, and you would think that would be sad, but it's really not. It's the fulfillment of a goal: Last week, when I got part of my paycheck cashed, I said to my boss,"This is the money I'm going to get wasted on at the game next week." It really felt special, like all the hours and effort I had put into my job had finally amount to something. I think this is what some people may call "ambition".
9. I don't care that he's in St. Louis. I still love Ty Conklin, and I'm glad I got to see him play last night, although obviously, I'm unhappy with the outcome, and I wish he hadn't played nearly as well. I kept calling him "Conk Block", as I got drunker and drunker as the evening progressed, it kinda morphed into "Conk Blonck", which made me think of a conch shell, which made me wonder why I was talking about seashells, and then I got really confused and thought we were going to the beach.
10. We couldn't find anything to watch when we returned to the hotel room, so we turned FSD on and caught the replay of the game at the beginning of the third period. Here is a real conversation that transpired between Brian and me:
Me: "Wow, I can't believe I missed Kenny Rogers!"
[Moment of silence.]
Brian: "Ummm...you didn't miss it. You started singing it at the game. And you even put it a weird way, like, 'Oh, here's KennyRogersTheGambler,' like it was all one word."
Yiiiiiikes.
So, last night's game was not the best. I'm still stoked for tomorrow night and the craziness that will ensue due to the Ducks coming to town. You know how I feel about the Ducks. Gross. It's going to be so fucking fun!
P.S. I'm kinda surprised: I thought for sure that this guy or that guy would pin the shutout and/or Cleary injury on TSO's presence at the game or in the city of Detroit in general. Whew, dodged a bullet on that one...
I am ready to murder something.
There is so much I'm pissed off about right now:
1. What's worse than seeing the Wings lose? Seeing them get shut out in person.
2. What's worse than seeing the Wings get shut out in person? Seeing Dan Cleary get injured in person and finding out the day after that he'll be out for up to four weeks with a separated shoulder (via Bruce MacLeod's Twitter). What. The. Fuck. This, of course, means that The Scrappy Octopus's new bonercrush, Ville Leino, returns gallantly to the lineup tomorrow night against the Anaheim Ducks. At least the booing of the opposing team will drown out my booing of Mr. Leino himself. Just kidding. I'll probably just throw my panties at him or something since I'm now so in love with him. (Ah, it really is just a distraction, typing this bullshit, from what really blows ass: Dan Cleary is the 927th Red Wing to be injured this season. At this rate, I expect to walk away from the game tomorrow night with a pickaxe shoved up my ass or something.)
3. This isn't necessarily worse than Items 1 and 2, but we're getting fucked over by our hotel; as of 11 a.m. today, when we were getting ready to leave to grab some lunch, we discovered that the hotel had charged us approximately 133% of the cost of our stay here, in addition to the charge we'd already incurred by Travelocity for booking the stay in the first place. The person at the front desk explained that the hotel hadn't gotten paid by Travelocity; how this is our fucking problem, I do not know. But it really is a great policy, isn't it? You can imagine that being double-charged for a six-night stay at a hotel in Detroit is not an inexpensive affair. Needless to say, we pitched a fit, and the person at the front desk has been "on the phone" with Travelocity, attempting to sort out the ordeal, for approximately two hours now. Fuck. This.
Oh, and if anybody's curious, we're staying at the Omni Riverfront. Would have highly recommended it until now.
1. What's worse than seeing the Wings lose? Seeing them get shut out in person.
2. What's worse than seeing the Wings get shut out in person? Seeing Dan Cleary get injured in person and finding out the day after that he'll be out for up to four weeks with a separated shoulder (via Bruce MacLeod's Twitter). What. The. Fuck. This, of course, means that The Scrappy Octopus's new bonercrush, Ville Leino, returns gallantly to the lineup tomorrow night against the Anaheim Ducks. At least the booing of the opposing team will drown out my booing of Mr. Leino himself. Just kidding. I'll probably just throw my panties at him or something since I'm now so in love with him. (Ah, it really is just a distraction, typing this bullshit, from what really blows ass: Dan Cleary is the 927th Red Wing to be injured this season. At this rate, I expect to walk away from the game tomorrow night with a pickaxe shoved up my ass or something.)
3. This isn't necessarily worse than Items 1 and 2, but we're getting fucked over by our hotel; as of 11 a.m. today, when we were getting ready to leave to grab some lunch, we discovered that the hotel had charged us approximately 133% of the cost of our stay here, in addition to the charge we'd already incurred by Travelocity for booking the stay in the first place. The person at the front desk explained that the hotel hadn't gotten paid by Travelocity; how this is our fucking problem, I do not know. But it really is a great policy, isn't it? You can imagine that being double-charged for a six-night stay at a hotel in Detroit is not an inexpensive affair. Needless to say, we pitched a fit, and the person at the front desk has been "on the phone" with Travelocity, attempting to sort out the ordeal, for approximately two hours now. Fuck. This.
Oh, and if anybody's curious, we're staying at the Omni Riverfront. Would have highly recommended it until now.
06 December 2009
Detroit Rock City in 30 +/- hours...
On the itinerary for today:
1. Pack.
2. Birthday present shopping for Brian's dad.
3. Pack.
4. Limit my coffee intake so I can try to go to sleep tonight at a decent time.
5. Pack.
6. Watch the Wings @ Rangers tonight. (Should be epic--Brian predicted a limb malfunction/loss for one Marian Gaborik, so if the game is half as exciting as that bold statement, we're going to have a blast.)
7. Pack.
Can you tell I fucking hate packing?
***
Just wanted to put something quick out there: Thank you, thank you to everyone who gave us suggestions of things and places to check out while we're in town. You guys are the best. Now we're even MORE excited about everything ever, and we didn't think that was even possible. From now on, I'm going to consult you all on every single one of my major life decisions and personal issues, so get ready to enjoy this bond we now have with one another. (For starters, let me ask you a question about this burning sensation I recently experienced...)
***
We'll be staying in touch via Twitter, and I'll have my laptop, although I can't promise we'll be coherent enough to write anything meaningful post-game. If our experience goes anything like we hoped for in our itinerary, one or more of the following may ensue:
1. Arrests. For stealing a kid's Zamboni toy. Whatever, you now know how I feel about children.
2. Something may get lit on fire. I'm just saying. If someone levels Corey Perry or Ryan Getzlaf or, really, anybody on that squad, I'm pretty sure I'll need to incorporate "Opa!" into the evening's festivities.
3a. Having the best experience of our lives, period, or...
3b. Being found face-down in a gutter in a pile of our own bile. It really is an all-or-nothing situation.
1. Pack.
2. Birthday present shopping for Brian's dad.
3. Pack.
4. Limit my coffee intake so I can try to go to sleep tonight at a decent time.
5. Pack.
6. Watch the Wings @ Rangers tonight. (Should be epic--Brian predicted a limb malfunction/loss for one Marian Gaborik, so if the game is half as exciting as that bold statement, we're going to have a blast.)
7. Pack.
Can you tell I fucking hate packing?
***
Just wanted to put something quick out there: Thank you, thank you to everyone who gave us suggestions of things and places to check out while we're in town. You guys are the best. Now we're even MORE excited about everything ever, and we didn't think that was even possible. From now on, I'm going to consult you all on every single one of my major life decisions and personal issues, so get ready to enjoy this bond we now have with one another. (For starters, let me ask you a question about this burning sensation I recently experienced...)
***
We'll be staying in touch via Twitter, and I'll have my laptop, although I can't promise we'll be coherent enough to write anything meaningful post-game. If our experience goes anything like we hoped for in our itinerary, one or more of the following may ensue:
1. Arrests. For stealing a kid's Zamboni toy. Whatever, you now know how I feel about children.
2. Something may get lit on fire. I'm just saying. If someone levels Corey Perry or Ryan Getzlaf or, really, anybody on that squad, I'm pretty sure I'll need to incorporate "Opa!" into the evening's festivities.
3a. Having the best experience of our lives, period, or...
3b. Being found face-down in a gutter in a pile of our own bile. It really is an all-or-nothing situation.
30 November 2009
15 November 2009
Wings pluck Ducks, 7-4.
So, here's the scoring summary from last night's extravaganza:
1st period:
1. Dan Cleary (DET)
2. Brian Rafalski (DET)
2nd period
3. Corey Perry (ANA)
3rd period
4. Bobby Ryan (ANA)
5. Pavel Datsyuk (DET)
6. Joffrey Lupul (ANA)
7. Henrik Zetterberg (DET)
8. Ryan Getzlaf (ANA)
9. Henrik Zetterberg (DET)
10. Darren Helm (DET)
11. Henrik Zetterberg (DET)
The fact that the Ducks tied the game on three separate occasions just about killed me. I don't know why it surprised me because it's what these two teams do when they meet up. But still. It was one of those best-ever-kind of games because the Wings maintained pressure and persevered, and the rollercoaster ride was just a part of the journey of getting there.
It was kinda like going to the doctor because you're feeling sorta weird, and you're worried that you might be knocked up, so you do a pee test, and the doc comes back and says, "Good news! You're not pregnant!" And being the awesome person you are, you start doing the requisite ceremonial fist pumps and high-fiving the nursing staff, and then the doctor sheepishly says, "You do, however, have syphilis." Yiiiiikes.
Yeah, kinda like that. Only more awesome because Detroit won, and virtually VD-free, at that.
***
So, the big news is obviously that Henrik Zetterberg earned himself a hat trick last night, marking also the first Detroit hat trick of this still relatively new season. He owned this game. I mean, seriously. Bought the copyrights to it and everything.
In related news, Jonathan Ericsson is the proud owner of the second-worst thing I saw all night, passing the puck from behind the net to Ryan Getzlaf, who swiftly sent it to Corey Perry, who scored the Ducks' first goal. It was a great play...if you're a Ducks' fan.
One thing of absolutely no consequence (other than providing sunshine to my soul), how adorable is it to see Tomas Holmstrom laugh in the faces of Ducks' players who head straight for him between whistles? Yeah, I know, it's nothing new; Homer is a wanted man in every city (cue Styx's "Renegade"). But last night, the camera caught him at just the right time/angle, and he was straight up laughing in some person's face. God, I love this guy. After he retires, I'll pay him $5 a day to hang out with me every day.
I'm happy to see that the Ducks still have the same shiteous attitude problem. I especially enjoyed Erik Christensen smashing his stick on the ice after one of the Wings' early goals, as well as Getzlaf slinging his water bottle aside when he was sent to the sin bin fordry humping cross-checking Zetterberg toward the end of the first period. (I know Getzy is probably as mesmerized as we all are by the power of Hank's magical whiskers, but seriously, if you want to see if he'll caress your face with them, at least ask before attacking. Manners, anyone?)
But anyway, thanks, Anaheim, for still being that team that's so easy to hate. You make my job as an arrogant Detroit fan that much easier when I can bask in the smug superiority of rooting for a team that makes asshats like you lose your shit after being down only 2-0 at the end of the first period.
***
Oh, and if anyone's curious as to what the worst thing I saw all night was, did anyone else catch the end of the Pittsburgh/Boston game? We turned it on with approximately five minutes left in the third period. The Bruins had just tied the game with a power play goal at 4-4; then, the Bruins scored with 2:30 left in the third period to take the lead, 5-4. The Pens pulled Brent Johnson with over 1:30 to go. The two teams struggled to gain control of the puck, and for all but, oh, say, 2 seconds of the empty net situation, they were battling along the boards in Pittsburgh's end, right beside the empty net. Finally, the Pens break away with the puck and manage to put it in the net--with 0.4 left in the game. Four-tenths of a fucking second. Seriously.
But wait, that's still not the worst part. In overtime, Pittsburgh controlled the puck for most of the play. The puck sailed from center ice to Tim Thomas, who, for some reason, went behind the net to play the puck, but didn't clear it up the boards. The puck went right to Jordan Staal, who passed it to Pascal Dupuis, who sent it right into what was essentially an unguarded net. Pens win in OT. And Bruins fans everywhere fall on the sword. Horrible.
1st period:
1. Dan Cleary (DET)
2. Brian Rafalski (DET)
2nd period
3. Corey Perry (ANA)
3rd period
4. Bobby Ryan (ANA)
5. Pavel Datsyuk (DET)
6. Joffrey Lupul (ANA)
7. Henrik Zetterberg (DET)
8. Ryan Getzlaf (ANA)
9. Henrik Zetterberg (DET)
10. Darren Helm (DET)
11. Henrik Zetterberg (DET)
The fact that the Ducks tied the game on three separate occasions just about killed me. I don't know why it surprised me because it's what these two teams do when they meet up. But still. It was one of those best-ever-kind of games because the Wings maintained pressure and persevered, and the rollercoaster ride was just a part of the journey of getting there.
It was kinda like going to the doctor because you're feeling sorta weird, and you're worried that you might be knocked up, so you do a pee test, and the doc comes back and says, "Good news! You're not pregnant!" And being the awesome person you are, you start doing the requisite ceremonial fist pumps and high-fiving the nursing staff, and then the doctor sheepishly says, "You do, however, have syphilis." Yiiiiikes.
Yeah, kinda like that. Only more awesome because Detroit won, and virtually VD-free, at that.
***
So, the big news is obviously that Henrik Zetterberg earned himself a hat trick last night, marking also the first Detroit hat trick of this still relatively new season. He owned this game. I mean, seriously. Bought the copyrights to it and everything.
In related news, Jonathan Ericsson is the proud owner of the second-worst thing I saw all night, passing the puck from behind the net to Ryan Getzlaf, who swiftly sent it to Corey Perry, who scored the Ducks' first goal. It was a great play...if you're a Ducks' fan.
One thing of absolutely no consequence (other than providing sunshine to my soul), how adorable is it to see Tomas Holmstrom laugh in the faces of Ducks' players who head straight for him between whistles? Yeah, I know, it's nothing new; Homer is a wanted man in every city (cue Styx's "Renegade"). But last night, the camera caught him at just the right time/angle, and he was straight up laughing in some person's face. God, I love this guy. After he retires, I'll pay him $5 a day to hang out with me every day.
I'm happy to see that the Ducks still have the same shiteous attitude problem. I especially enjoyed Erik Christensen smashing his stick on the ice after one of the Wings' early goals, as well as Getzlaf slinging his water bottle aside when he was sent to the sin bin for
But anyway, thanks, Anaheim, for still being that team that's so easy to hate. You make my job as an arrogant Detroit fan that much easier when I can bask in the smug superiority of rooting for a team that makes asshats like you lose your shit after being down only 2-0 at the end of the first period.
***
Oh, and if anyone's curious as to what the worst thing I saw all night was, did anyone else catch the end of the Pittsburgh/Boston game? We turned it on with approximately five minutes left in the third period. The Bruins had just tied the game with a power play goal at 4-4; then, the Bruins scored with 2:30 left in the third period to take the lead, 5-4. The Pens pulled Brent Johnson with over 1:30 to go. The two teams struggled to gain control of the puck, and for all but, oh, say, 2 seconds of the empty net situation, they were battling along the boards in Pittsburgh's end, right beside the empty net. Finally, the Pens break away with the puck and manage to put it in the net--with 0.4 left in the game. Four-tenths of a fucking second. Seriously.
But wait, that's still not the worst part. In overtime, Pittsburgh controlled the puck for most of the play. The puck sailed from center ice to Tim Thomas, who, for some reason, went behind the net to play the puck, but didn't clear it up the boards. The puck went right to Jordan Staal, who passed it to Pascal Dupuis, who sent it right into what was essentially an unguarded net. Pens win in OT. And Bruins fans everywhere fall on the sword. Horrible.
13 November 2009
Holy shit, the quacks are coming to town.
I fucking hate the Anaheim Ducks. They'll always be behind (1a) the Chicago Blackhawks and (1b) the Pittsburgh Penguins, but in no way should they feel left out of the fray. They suck at life.
My dickweed ex-boyfriend sent me a Myspace message last year during the playoffs saying there was "no way the Wings would beat Chris Pronger the Donger" and company. Really, I have no idea what that means other than a reaffirmation of my belief that only assplugs root for this team. And rhyme a person's last name with a vernacular term for genitalia, unless the intent is to be disparaging, although that obviously wasn't the case in this example, as I'm sure said dickweed in question had a mouthful of little Prongers when he typed it. Story checks out, in any event.
Ryan Getzlaf: "Frat" Douche.
Scott Niedermayer: "Father Time/The Dad from Family Ties" Douche.
Todd Marchant: "No Eyebrows" Douche.
James Wisniewski: "Mark McGrath Called, He Wants His Circa-1997 Hairstyle Back, Ass" Douche. (P.S. I hope Homer makes you cry again.)
Mike Brown: "Oops, Sorry About That Roofie-Tini" Douche.
Ryan Carter: "I'm Really Happy Mike Brown Gave Me His Recipe for Roofie-Tinis" Douche.
The only good thing about the Anaheim Ducks is this fan:
You know how I feel about dancing fans.
Go Wings.
My dickweed ex-boyfriend sent me a Myspace message last year during the playoffs saying there was "no way the Wings would beat Chris Pronger the Donger" and company. Really, I have no idea what that means other than a reaffirmation of my belief that only assplugs root for this team. And rhyme a person's last name with a vernacular term for genitalia, unless the intent is to be disparaging, although that obviously wasn't the case in this example, as I'm sure said dickweed in question had a mouthful of little Prongers when he typed it. Story checks out, in any event.
Ryan Getzlaf: "Frat" Douche.
Scott Niedermayer: "Father Time/The Dad from Family Ties" Douche.
Todd Marchant: "No Eyebrows" Douche.
James Wisniewski: "Mark McGrath Called, He Wants His Circa-1997 Hairstyle Back, Ass" Douche. (P.S. I hope Homer makes you cry again.)
Mike Brown: "Oops, Sorry About That Roofie-Tini" Douche.
Ryan Carter: "I'm Really Happy Mike Brown Gave Me His Recipe for Roofie-Tinis" Douche.
The only good thing about the Anaheim Ducks is this fan:
You know how I feel about dancing fans.
Go Wings.
Wings harpoon Canucks, 3-1.
If your mascot is named Finn the Whale, you deserve the verb "harpoon".
Somehow, the Wings managed this win, despite getting completely outshot and outworked for much of the game. Jimmy Howard played extremely well for the second night in a row (although he had much more work to do in last night's game than in Columbus); he even earned himself his first career assist on Niklas Kronwall's empty-netter. I wish I could find a video of Henrik Zetterberg's GWG; it was one of my favorite goals thus far this season.
Tomas Holmstrom scored the first goal of the game. He's still leading the team in season goals. My heart is smiling.
Tomorrow night, the Wings take on the Anaheim Ducks for the first time this season. This is the third team in my top tier of hatred. Expect something fun tomorrow pre-game.
***
So, now I want to take a minute to get all sentimental with you guys. I've been doing this blogging thing for almost two months now. I started it as a way to stop irritating non-hockey fans in my life with my endless blather for 3/4 of the year (and if you're interested in the whole long story of my hockey fandom, you can read it here). Still, I wasn't sure anyone would actually want to read the sometimes inane, often irreverent, almost always inappropriate prattling that I put out there. Ever since my bestest showed me how to check the stats on Google Reader to see how many subscribers a particular blog has, I've been neurotically checking it to see if people are ready my stuff. And you are! This little, scrappy blog, created by a person who's not from Michigan but still loves the Red Wings more than life itself, has real, actual readers. (Or maybe just cyborgs who enjoy reading this nonsense. But whatever. Onward and upward.) So, thanks, people. It hits me right here.
Now, Jesus H. Christ. Because this site is not called the SAPPY Octopus, and in celebration of this impromptu Reader Appreciation Day, how about some free sketchy punch, hookers, and BJs*? Really. It's on The Scrappy Octopus's tab.
Oh, and for the ladies--I wouldn't dream of leaving you out of this one. Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot reportedly involves a hockey stick. More details as they emerge, and, of course, complimentary copies of the issue for everyone once it's published. What? That doesn't do it for you? OK. Well, we've still got this guy. You're welcome.
*As in Columbus Blue Jackets. They want to hang out. Wait, what? You thought I meant...? GASP. I'm appalled at you people, really. Sickos.
Somehow, the Wings managed this win, despite getting completely outshot and outworked for much of the game. Jimmy Howard played extremely well for the second night in a row (although he had much more work to do in last night's game than in Columbus); he even earned himself his first career assist on Niklas Kronwall's empty-netter. I wish I could find a video of Henrik Zetterberg's GWG; it was one of my favorite goals thus far this season.
Tomas Holmstrom scored the first goal of the game. He's still leading the team in season goals. My heart is smiling.
Tomorrow night, the Wings take on the Anaheim Ducks for the first time this season. This is the third team in my top tier of hatred. Expect something fun tomorrow pre-game.
***
So, now I want to take a minute to get all sentimental with you guys. I've been doing this blogging thing for almost two months now. I started it as a way to stop irritating non-hockey fans in my life with my endless blather for 3/4 of the year (and if you're interested in the whole long story of my hockey fandom, you can read it here). Still, I wasn't sure anyone would actually want to read the sometimes inane, often irreverent, almost always inappropriate prattling that I put out there. Ever since my bestest showed me how to check the stats on Google Reader to see how many subscribers a particular blog has, I've been neurotically checking it to see if people are ready my stuff. And you are! This little, scrappy blog, created by a person who's not from Michigan but still loves the Red Wings more than life itself, has real, actual readers. (Or maybe just cyborgs who enjoy reading this nonsense. But whatever. Onward and upward.) So, thanks, people. It hits me right here.
Now, Jesus H. Christ. Because this site is not called the SAPPY Octopus, and in celebration of this impromptu Reader Appreciation Day, how about some free sketchy punch, hookers, and BJs*? Really. It's on The Scrappy Octopus's tab.
Oh, and for the ladies--I wouldn't dream of leaving you out of this one. Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot reportedly involves a hockey stick. More details as they emerge, and, of course, complimentary copies of the issue for everyone once it's published. What? That doesn't do it for you? OK. Well, we've still got this guy. You're welcome.
*As in Columbus Blue Jackets. They want to hang out. Wait, what? You thought I meant...? GASP. I'm appalled at you people, really. Sickos.
26 October 2009
Help! I need advice.
OK, first things first: I'm watching the Toronto @ Anaheim game on PTDucks, and I swear to Christ, the announcer just said, "Uh-oh, look out, cookout" during a Toronto breakaway.
The fuck?
Oh, can we also talk about the cast of Cold Case dropping the puck at the beginning of the game? Goddamnit, I hate the Ducks.
***
OK, for those of you who have so graciously refraining from X-ing out of this window due to obscene levels of bullshit, THANK YOU--and now I have a question that I invite any and all Motown denizens to answer.
We, the Scrappy Octopi(?), are headed to the Motor City in December to celebrate early the birthday of yours truly by attending two games at the Joe, and we need suggestions for a decent hotel. When we stayed in February, we stayed in Roseville; however, this time, we'd prefer to stay someplace either in or closer to the city proper.
I read some good things on Yelp about the Milner Hotel in downtown and found a reasonable deal online for our extended stay, but I wanted to get some honest opinions first before making a decision.
Here is a brief list of my requirements for a good hotel:
(A) I don't want to get stabbed.
(B) I don't want to get crotchrot. (I like having to work for my crotchrot.)
(C) I would, preferably, enjoy being close to stuff, as I/we plan on getting wasted during/after Wings games and wouldn't want to drive 20+ miles like we did during our last stay.
So, Detroiters, please weigh in with your honest opinions; any suggestions for someplace else are welcome, as well. Thanks a million in advance.
(You'll note that getting bicycles thrown at me is omitted from the aforesaid list. I do not mind if this happens to me again.)
The fuck?
Oh, can we also talk about the cast of Cold Case dropping the puck at the beginning of the game? Goddamnit, I hate the Ducks.
***
OK, for those of you who have so graciously refraining from X-ing out of this window due to obscene levels of bullshit, THANK YOU--and now I have a question that I invite any and all Motown denizens to answer.
We, the Scrappy Octopi(?), are headed to the Motor City in December to celebrate early the birthday of yours truly by attending two games at the Joe, and we need suggestions for a decent hotel. When we stayed in February, we stayed in Roseville; however, this time, we'd prefer to stay someplace either in or closer to the city proper.
I read some good things on Yelp about the Milner Hotel in downtown and found a reasonable deal online for our extended stay, but I wanted to get some honest opinions first before making a decision.
Here is a brief list of my requirements for a good hotel:
(A) I don't want to get stabbed.
(B) I don't want to get crotchrot. (I like having to work for my crotchrot.)
(C) I would, preferably, enjoy being close to stuff, as I/we plan on getting wasted during/after Wings games and wouldn't want to drive 20+ miles like we did during our last stay.
So, Detroiters, please weigh in with your honest opinions; any suggestions for someplace else are welcome, as well. Thanks a million in advance.
(You'll note that getting bicycles thrown at me is omitted from the aforesaid list. I do not mind if this happens to me again.)
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