Help! I need advice.

OK, first things first: I'm watching the Toronto @ Anaheim game on PTDucks, and I swear to Christ, the announcer just said, "Uh-oh, look out, cookout" during a Toronto breakaway.

The fuck?

Oh, can we also talk about the cast of Cold Case dropping the puck at the beginning of the game? Goddamnit, I hate the Ducks.

***

OK, for those of you who have so graciously refraining from X-ing out of this window due to obscene levels of bullshit, THANK YOU--and now I have a question that I invite any and all Motown denizens to answer.

We, the Scrappy Octopi(?), are headed to the Motor City in December to celebrate early the birthday of yours truly by attending two games at the Joe, and we need suggestions for a decent hotel. When we stayed in February, we stayed in Roseville; however, this time, we'd prefer to stay someplace either in or closer to the city proper.

I read some good things on Yelp about the Milner Hotel in downtown and found a reasonable deal online for our extended stay, but I wanted to get some honest opinions first before making a decision.

Here is a brief list of my requirements for a good hotel:

(A) I don't want to get stabbed.

(B) I don't want to get crotchrot. (I like having to work for my crotchrot.)

(C) I would, preferably, enjoy being close to stuff, as I/we plan on getting wasted during/after Wings games and wouldn't want to drive 20+ miles like we did during our last stay.

So, Detroiters, please weigh in with your honest opinions; any suggestions for someplace else are welcome, as well. Thanks a million in advance.

(You'll note that getting bicycles thrown at me is omitted from the aforesaid list. I do not mind if this happens to me again.)