Holy shit, the quacks are coming to town.

I fucking hate the Anaheim Ducks. They'll always be behind (1a) the Chicago Blackhawks and (1b) the Pittsburgh Penguins, but in no way should they feel left out of the fray. They suck at life.









My dickweed ex-boyfriend sent me a Myspace message last year during the playoffs saying there was "no way the Wings would beat Chris Pronger the Donger" and company. Really, I have no idea what that means other than a reaffirmation of my belief that only assplugs root for this team. And rhyme a person's last name with a vernacular term for genitalia, unless the intent is to be disparaging, although that obviously wasn't the case in this example, as I'm sure said dickweed in question had a mouthful of little Prongers when he typed it. Story checks out, in any event.


Ryan Getzlaf: "Frat" Douche.


Scott Niedermayer: "Father Time/The Dad from Family Ties" Douche.


Todd Marchant: "No Eyebrows" Douche.


James Wisniewski: "Mark McGrath Called, He Wants His Circa-1997 Hairstyle Back, Ass" Douche. (P.S. I hope Homer makes you cry again.)


Mike Brown: "Oops, Sorry About That Roofie-Tini" Douche.


Ryan Carter: "I'm Really Happy Mike Brown Gave Me His Recipe for Roofie-Tinis" Douche.

The only good thing about the Anaheim Ducks is this fan:



You know how I feel about dancing fans.

Go Wings.

Wings beat Kings, 5-2.

Woohoooooooo.

--The biggest news by far is that Nicklas Lidstrom scored his 1,000th career point tonight, becoming the second Swede and first Swedish defenseman to do so. He scored two assists tonight, one on a goal by Tomas Holmstrom, the other on a goal by Henrik Zetterberg. Speaking of which...

--Zetterberg scored a goal and an assist tonight.

--Ozzie did a great job. There really wasn't much he could do on the two Kings' goals. He prevented a couple of nice scoring chances the Kings had, especially toward the beginning of the first period.

--I thought the Wings really brought their A-game for most of the third period; it finally felt like we were watching real Wings' hockey, with the exception of the penalties, but hey, the PK was pretty solid.

--I can't believe Tomas Holmstrom is leading the team in goals. He's the biggest boss that I've seen thus far. (Yeah. I went there. You liked it, too.)

--That move by Todd Bertuzzi that set up Kirk Maltby's goal was just awesome. Kirk Maltby has two goals so far this season. I'm just saying.

--Was it just me, or did Brian Rafalski look like he was ready to cry when the refs called a penalty on him? Regardless, he scored his first goal of the season with an empty netter at the end of the game. His expression after the penalty call was still funny as hell, though.

--To me, Davis Drewiske = Davis Drewski = guy whose unfortunate surname sounds like a nickname a fratdouche would coin for himself.

--Watching FSD via Center Ice really, really, really makes me crave Tim Hortons. Midwesterners and Canadians don't know how good they have it. The closest Tim Hortons to here is 3+ hours away. Boo. No matter what Southerners tell you, Tim Hortons is always > Krispy Kreme.

--I do not, under any circumstances, approve of the organist at the Joe playing the theme from The Addams Family. Unless we acquire a player by the name of Adams/Addams. Or, as Brian put it, unless we acquire a player who's just a hand.