vs.
Sting
Facts About Nicklas Lidstrom:
1. Has piercing blue eyes and fair hair.
2. Captains the best team EVER.
3. Has won the Norris Trophy as the league's best defenseman a bajillion times.
4. Dreams of Sweden, which, as we all know, completely and totally fucking rocks.
5. Facts about sexual life are unavailable.
Facts About Sting:
1. Has piercing blue eyes and fair hair.
2. Captained one of the lamest pop bands of the 80s.
3. Has won a measly sixteen Grammys. Big deal.
4. Dreams of rain-e-yaaaaayyy-aayyyyy-ayyyyyyyne, which is not nearly as bombass as Sweden, unless you're a farmer with no irrigation system. Otherwise, it's pretty fucking lame.
5. Is into tantric sex, which means he's had a boner since approximately 1984.
And the winner is...
Duh.
*****
As a bonus--and I can't take credit for this, as it's already all over the internet--here's another pair who may be Separated at Birth. I'm not going to bother with facts or a "showdown", as it pretty much speaks for itself. Enjoy.
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