vs.
Sting
Facts About Nicklas Lidstrom:
1. Has piercing blue eyes and fair hair.
2. Captains the best team EVER.
3. Has won the Norris Trophy as the league's best defenseman a bajillion times.
4. Dreams of Sweden, which, as we all know, completely and totally fucking rocks.
5. Facts about sexual life are unavailable.
Facts About Sting:
1. Has piercing blue eyes and fair hair.
2. Captained one of the lamest pop bands of the 80s.
3. Has won a measly sixteen Grammys. Big deal.
4. Dreams of rain-e-yaaaaayyy-aayyyyy-ayyyyyyyne, which is not nearly as bombass as Sweden, unless you're a farmer with no irrigation system. Otherwise, it's pretty fucking lame.
5. Is into tantric sex, which means he's had a boner since approximately 1984.
And the winner is...
Duh.
*****
As a bonus--and I can't take credit for this, as it's already all over the internet--here's another pair who may be Separated at Birth. I'm not going to bother with facts or a "showdown", as it pretty much speaks for itself. Enjoy.
Posts
6. he'll be watching you.
ReplyDeleteWhy was it even a contest?
ReplyDeleteAlso, the spam filter thingy just made me type "unwing" before I could post my comment. I feel like that's a little blasphemous on this blog. You might wanna take that up with someone.
ReplyDeleteNick Lidstrom could have a boner for years if he wanted to. But he doesnt want to. Because he's too bad ass for perpetual boners.
ReplyDelete@ Maxie: This inevitably made me think of the Diddy version. Now I'm dead.
ReplyDelete@ M: Because I like contests, and I wanted to make sure people understood that Nicklas Lidstrom will DESTROY Sting, any time, any place.
Also...WTFFFFFF, re: "unwing"?! This is a vast conspiracy to undermine my burgeoning blog. HOW DARE THEY?!
@ Brian: Nobody wants a boner for that long. Moreover, nobody wants to DEAL with somebody else's boner for that long. *Shudders*
do it do it do it do it.
ReplyDeletei know, i know... wrong song. But that's all I think of when I think of diddy.
That and lasttttttt night.