05 October 2009

Mondays suck.

And I'm still bummed about the weekend. In order to remedy that, let's have a Hockey Celebrity Look-Alike Showdown.

Nicklas Lidstrom


vs.

Sting


Facts About Nicklas Lidstrom:

1. Has piercing blue eyes and fair hair.

2. Captains the best team EVER.

3. Has won the Norris Trophy as the league's best defenseman a bajillion times.

4. Dreams of Sweden, which, as we all know, completely and totally fucking rocks.

5. Facts about sexual life are unavailable.

Facts About Sting:

1. Has piercing blue eyes and fair hair.

2. Captained one of the lamest pop bands of the 80s.

3. Has won a measly sixteen Grammys. Big deal.

4. Dreams of rain-e-yaaaaayyy-aayyyyy-ayyyyyyyne, which is not nearly as bombass as Sweden, unless you're a farmer with no irrigation system. Otherwise, it's pretty fucking lame.

5. Is into tantric sex, which means he's had a boner since approximately 1984.

And the winner is...



Duh.

*****

As a bonus--and I can't take credit for this, as it's already all over the internet--here's another pair who may be Separated at Birth. I'm not going to bother with facts or a "showdown", as it pretty much speaks for itself. Enjoy.



6 comments:

  1. Why was it even a contest?

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  2. Also, the spam filter thingy just made me type "unwing" before I could post my comment. I feel like that's a little blasphemous on this blog. You might wanna take that up with someone.

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  3. Nick Lidstrom could have a boner for years if he wanted to. But he doesnt want to. Because he's too bad ass for perpetual boners.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ Maxie: This inevitably made me think of the Diddy version. Now I'm dead.

    @ M: Because I like contests, and I wanted to make sure people understood that Nicklas Lidstrom will DESTROY Sting, any time, any place.

    Also...WTFFFFFF, re: "unwing"?! This is a vast conspiracy to undermine my burgeoning blog. HOW DARE THEY?!

    @ Brian: Nobody wants a boner for that long. Moreover, nobody wants to DEAL with somebody else's boner for that long. *Shudders*

    ReplyDelete
  5. do it do it do it do it.

    i know, i know... wrong song. But that's all I think of when I think of diddy.

    That and lasttttttt night.

    ReplyDelete