Happy Friday, boys and girls.

It's super duper dreary here; it's been raining all week, it's cold, and I swear to christ, the sun hasn't shone in 36 years.

I thought I would share something that was so funny, it made me spit out my pumpkin latte onto my desk, sent to me by Brian, courtesy of Deadspin. Enjoy.

Kyle Dennis, a math teacher and boys basketball coach in Boise, is in trouble for giving us one of the best police reports in recent memory:

Dennis "knowingly engaged in obscene conduct...by manipulating his penis with his hands while walking around a Costco store with an erection."

Despite that "knowingly," I might be willing to cut him a little slack here. Who among us can see the amazing deals on bulk pricing and not get at least semi-chubby? Oh wait, there's a pattern.

The documents go on to say that Dennis performed the same behavior at the Costco on 2051 S. Cole Road as well as the Walmart on Overland in June.