10 December 2009

The other side of the coin...

So, we finally got the room situation worked out; thanks for your concerns, everybody. I did have a scrappy word brawl with the lady at the front desk, who didn't particularly care that we were out approximately $650 for the time being. The manager walked up just as I told the person that there was no way it was our problem that the hotel and Travelocity couldn't get their act together. Brian and I both work in customer-service-esque jobs, and there's no way either one of us would ever be allowed to double-charge a customer simply because our respective places of employment didn't receive payment from a third party. Ridiculous. Even more absurdly, this woman started yelling at us in the middle of the lobby. If I did that at my job, I would most likely be shit-canned.

The manager was super nice, though, and upgraded our room to a suite and gave us free lunch and dinner, so I'm pleased with the way it turned out on that end. She handled things very well once it all got out of hand. All in all, I guess what I learned for this experience is not to trust the people checking you in at hotels, even when you ask them specifically if your debit card is being swiped only for incidentals. Also, I learned that some people just suck at life. It was super cute--the woman who had the major attitude with us called our room after lunch (at 3:30) and said that she was supposed to get off work at 3:00, but she wanted to make sure we were settled in to our new room and that everything had worked out, and ordinarily, I would have felt bad putting someone out like that, but considering this entire ordeal wasted essentially our entire day, I didn't really give a fuck. We made sure to fold our clothes extra slowly.


The face transplant lady is on Oprah right now. I just upchucked my nachos.


And because this post is serving as the yin to my other post's angry yang, here are some things I did enjoy about the game last night:

1. Getting to see Jimmy Howard do what Brian and I call the "Beyonce Running Man" exercise in person. It's one thing that loses a little bit of its luster on television. We also have this really awesomely annoying habit of singing, "All the married Jimmys, all the married Jimmys" when he does it. Don't you feel just a teensy bit saddened that you didn't get to sit with us?

2. Dropping F-bombs ad nauseum and initiating all the children around me into the rough underworld of being scrappy. Hey, what can I say? Those little bastards got the Zamboni toys; maybe they should consider the evening a twofer: free gift AND free important life lesson. (Speaking of the Zamboni toy, I'm pleased that I was on so many people's minds last night; I really thought about snagging one, especially since the game was a wash. To be honest, I didn't see a lot of kids with them, which leads me to believe that maybe Mickey Redmond stole 2,497 of them to build a protective armada. Shhh, don't tell him they're not operative machines...)

3. Best moment ever: Brian and I left the game a little later, as we sat in our seats and waited for the crowd to dissipate a little bit before fighting our way out. Anyway, as we were leaving, we saw Murph up on his perch above the exit, so we yelled "Hey, Muuuuurph!" and he turned around and waved/pointed at us. I totally did the "We-Heart-You" (complete with the heart hand motion. Yes, TSO has mad love for Murph. And no, I am not in seventh grade.). It's in my top three most magical moments ever.

4. Second-best moment ever: Getting to chant, "Bullshit! Bullshit" after the non-goal. MUCH more cathartic than screaming it at my TV/dog/each other.

5. Henrik Zetterberg is amazing. We had really good seats last night, so it was awesome getting to watch him sorta up close. There's just no comparison between watching it in person and watching it on television. I'm not sure I'll be able to leave the Joe tomorrow night. They'll have to pry my cold, dead body away.

6. Todd Bertuzzi shaved, and it made me laugh when I saw him because I thought about how our buddies over at The Production Line prefer to call him Voldemort. Without the weird facial hair, he looks even more like someone from the otherworld.

7. I ran into a crazy St. Louis fan in the bathroom and told her I was in love with her blue wig. I need a red one.

8. I spent all my cash on beer at the game, and you would think that would be sad, but it's really not. It's the fulfillment of a goal: Last week, when I got part of my paycheck cashed, I said to my boss,"This is the money I'm going to get wasted on at the game next week." It really felt special, like all the hours and effort I had put into my job had finally amount to something. I think this is what some people may call "ambition".

9. I don't care that he's in St. Louis. I still love Ty Conklin, and I'm glad I got to see him play last night, although obviously, I'm unhappy with the outcome, and I wish he hadn't played nearly as well. I kept calling him "Conk Block", as I got drunker and drunker as the evening progressed, it kinda morphed into "Conk Blonck", which made me think of a conch shell, which made me wonder why I was talking about seashells, and then I got really confused and thought we were going to the beach.

10. We couldn't find anything to watch when we returned to the hotel room, so we turned FSD on and caught the replay of the game at the beginning of the third period. Here is a real conversation that transpired between Brian and me:

Me: "Wow, I can't believe I missed Kenny Rogers!"

[Moment of silence.]

Brian: "Ummm...you didn't miss it. You started singing it at the game. And you even put it a weird way, like, 'Oh, here's KennyRogersTheGambler,' like it was all one word."


So, last night's game was not the best. I'm still stoked for tomorrow night and the craziness that will ensue due to the Ducks coming to town. You know how I feel about the Ducks. Gross. It's going to be so fucking fun!

P.S. I'm kinda surprised: I thought for sure that this guy or that guy would pin the shutout and/or Cleary injury on TSO's presence at the game or in the city of Detroit in general. Whew, dodged a bullet on that one...


  1. First of all, this goes without saying: On a warm summer's evening, on a train bound for nowhere, I met up with a gambler, we were both too tired to sleep.

    Second, could Todd Bertuzzi be uglier? I dare you to come up with a scenario under which he is less attractive physically than he is at this very moment.

    So, did you get a plush Zamboni or what? Don't hold us in suspense.

  2. Yay for the room getting straightened out!!

    1. Warm ups are seriously one of my most favorite things about getting to the game early. Mmmmmmm...stretching, yoga moves, & humping the ice. *pervs*

    2. I swear a ton as it is, but get me in the Joe? Yeah...like a drunken sailor. Also? There is no way in HELL they gave out all of those damn Zamboni toys! I'll be checking eBay.

    3. I ran into Murph one day at the bank. It was kind of awesome.

    4. I LOVED THAT! I really want to know what it sounded like on tv.

    5. Where were you guys sitting? Z is ridiculously handsome, IMHO.

    6. You know how they have all the boys' pictures up on the posts in the concourse? Have you seen Useless's...err, I mean Buttuzzi's? Dude, didn't your momma ever tell you to comb your hair before class pics?!

    7. CONKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! As much as I love Ozzie & as awesome as Howie's been playing, I really wish we could've kept Ty.

    I'm glad you guys had a good time, even with the loss. GO WINGS!!!!!!

  3. Sounds awesome. How drunk was Murph?

    I also love the fact I'm not the only one getting drunk at hockey games

  4. Geez. I don't know how to tell you guys this, but I failed at obtaining the Zamboni toy. Epically failed. (Psst. OK, just kidding. I totally snagged a couple dozen of them. I just know the authorities are hot on my trail, so I'm trying to keep it on the D-L for now. Oh, and they totally don't read parenthetical comments, so we're cool with my disclosure here.)

    Also, Michael: Answer honestly. Would you stop reading this blog if we (well, I) started raving about how hot Todd Bertuzzi is? I feel like we could really start a trend here. It would be like taking our own bonercrush on Ville Leino to a whole new level.

    Raputa, we were sitting in 126A. Tonight, we'll be in 218A, but my booing/hatred will transcend distance, the way it normally does when the Ducks are playing the Wings. I'm glad we're on the same page with that.

    Andy, Murph looked about as tanked as he normally does, which to me, looks like he's perpetually wastey-faced. I don't know why anybody would bother being sober at a game; it's so much more fun to be ridiculous.

  5. Oh, and I totally forgot: KENNY ROGERS IS COMING TO DETROIT NEXT WEEK! Goddamnit am I upset about missing it.

  6. You asked for honesty, and I'll give it to you. I wouldn't stop reading the blog if you went blind and/or retarded. The physically enfeebled and/or mentally challenged need site hits, too.

    I would, however, seek help for you. Though we've never actually met, I'd feel obligated as a contemporary to have you institutionalized until you were no longer a threat to the public at large.

    Theoretically, Brian would have power of attorney, and I trust he'd do the right thing and sign the papers until you were ready to admit that there is none hotter than Valtteri Filppula.

  7. If a shutout or injury happens tonight, you're getting it.

    Just try and have fun with that in the back of your mind.

    You've been warned. Bring us a fucking win.