Tonight, we're playing
You're welcome, Brian.
I'm not even going to pretend--I don't give a flying fuck about this team. At all. To put it into perspective:
Things I Care the Least About in My Life
1. Fidelity issues of famous athletes
2. Corona (seriously, who DRINKS that stuff?!)
3. Anything Joe Lieberman has to say
4. Any reality show that involves dancing
5. My bad reputation
6. Taking down Christmas decorations in my workspace any time before March
7. Aliens (sorry, Brian)
8. Being able to understand tip jars while sober
9. Tampa Bay Lightning
10. Any and all programming on Headline News
So there you have it, Tampa Bay G&L. You rank right between my inability to comprehend the fine art of a really kickass drunken activity and the trainwreck that is Nancy Grace. You should feel pretty pumped about that.
Thoughts I Will Inevitably Have During the Game
1. The name "Antero Nittymaki" will make me think of sushi, and I will want some, stat. I kinda want some now, and it's 10:00 in the morning. Sigh. It's going to be a loooong day.
2. The name "Martin St. Louis" will make me wonder what I always do when I see a last name involving "St.", which is, "Does he count the 'S' in 'St.', the 'L' in 'Louis', or both letters in his initials?" I wonder what it's like to have more than three initials. One of my suitemates in my first year of college was a girl who--no joke--had three middle names and a hyphenated last name, one of which involved a "D" and an apostrophe and then the rest of the name, like "D'Angelo". So, in actuality, this girl's initials were E.C.R.E.D.A.D. Insanity.
3. Why doesn't Vincent Lecavalier play for a better team?
4. Alex Tanguay does not, does not, does not equal Alex Tangueray.
5. Mattias Ohlund has one of my current favorite names in hockey, but only because of that bombass umlaut over the "O".
6. I'm really happy we took Drew Miller off their hands.
Let's. Go. Wings.
Before we get to the item that's really the heart and soul of all TSO game previews, I want to give you all a reminder that if we can convince a certain someone to release a certain video that a certain me has in her possession, then we could be watching a video of someone near and dear to our hearts. Just saying.