31 March 2010

Doing the Grownup.

Wow, this is the first Wednesday that's come along where we haven't been completely inebriated (see: St. Patrick's Day) or completely limp-dick useless (see: H2H week).

So, here it is, Wednesday, and we actually have two questions for you today. First things first:

Which former Red Wing would you give a solid 5 years off your life to return to the team?

Without a doubt, I choose Aaron Fucking Downey.

Ever since I started this site, I wanted to do a tribute to Downey, and after bonding with Chris from NOHS at H2H about our mutual love for the guy, I decided now's as good a time as any to do it.

Downey is one of the most ridiculously entertaining fighters ever. Look at the way he just straight up wails on his opponents. I dare you to start watching clips of his fights and be able to turn away any time within the next two hours. In fact, I'm only posting two of them here:

Also, he is obviously the best ever at conversating for a few:

Finally, did we mention he's a phenomenal dancer?

I miss Aaron's scrapiness on the team; he was one of those old-school players who stand up for their teammates when they're victims of questionable hits. Can you imagine what he would have done to Laraque that time that bastard took out Kronner? And, you know, he actually won fights, even ones that weren't premeditated. (I'm looking at you, Brad May.) I was devastated when the Wings didn't resign him. I'm always looking forward to the day when he comes back. I know, I, for one, will gladly pitch in $10/day to make this happen.

And now, to commemorate the very real fire that burns in my heart for Downey (seriously, Aaron, if you're reading this, hit us up at TheScrappyOctopus@gmail.com to discuss dancing with some real pros), here's a long-distance dedication:


  1. OMG that trash talk clip is hilarious! Thanks for posting.

  2. The first name that popped into my head: Bob Probert.

    Because cocaine fueled insanity is something I want to be in on every time.

  3. Probert is a nice choice..

    But as always: DMac

  4. Natalie, thanks so much for those clips! I know Aaron Downey is fucking awesome, but my respect and love for him just grew a little bit more after watching those. I truly hope that players still go to his potato farm in the off-season...

    Andy, I was really really tempted to go with D-Mac, because he will always be one of my favorite Wings players. Seeing him on VS commenting just isn't the same. He's got Red Wing in his blood, and always played with so much heart. And kicked some mighty ass as well. Plus seeing the Grind Line back together again would be so kick ass.

    But I'm going to go with probably one of the most predictable answers, because well, I can't think of anyone who I'd rather give up part of my life for. Without a doubt, a circa 1997 Steve Yzerman. What I wouldn't give to see #19 skating with the Wings again. It gets me misty-eyed just thinking about it. We knew the day would come when he would retire, but I wasn't ready for it. It's been 4 years, he's in the Hall of Fame now, and will probably be one of the BEST GMs out there in years to come (hopefully staying with the Wings) and I STILL think I see glimpses of him out on the ice. I got to see him play once in person for a pre-season game in the 90s and I remember being in awe of him. The amount of heart, leadership, defensive responsibility (which is why I chose circa 90s as opposed to the offensive powerhouse of the 80s), scoring ability, humility, team-first thinking...the list goes on and on. He's the reason I fell so hard for hockey and for the Red Wings. Without a doubt, I'd give up 5 years of my life for The Captain to skate again.

  5. You never get too old to find "blow me" funny but you do get too old to give up 5 years of your life. Unless of course it's like your first 5 years which you don't really remember so don't count.

    Now that I've properly qualified which 5 years of my life I'd be willing to give up, I'd say it has to be Robert Lang! Okay, I'm kidding. A lot. I've got to go with Paul Coffey because I love me some handsome, smooth skating, puck moving, deadly shooting defensemen.

  6. THANK YOU!! You know how I feel about aaron downy, aka my long lost lover.

    That dancing. It doesn't get old.