15 February 2010

Welcome back to Homer & the Mule.

Once again, our fabulous readers @saraneuie and @nursenitz have plied us with collages of Homer's and Franzen's first games back at the Joe after the 1,000-year road trip. Alas, like the elusive butterfly he is, Homer exacerbated the knee injury during Saturday's game, and it looks as though the Mule will play for him in the Olympics after all. Egg on your face much, Sweden?

Poor Homer, though. That's gotta be beyond disappointing for him. (Anybody want to speculate on what Homer's favorite form of exercising his demons is? I'm guessing it probably has something to do with eating cats or perhaps steel wool granules while donning a Moses-style headpiece and screaming into the night wind.)

On a brighter note, here are some visual snacks for your enjoyment. I'm pretty sure the Homer one is going up in my place of employment. Sara titled the one for #93 "Franzen and His Mustache." I gotta say, I'm digging the mustache, but then again, I like Franzen's red playoff beard. It makes him look like even more of a badass.


  1. nice stuff Sara and Nurse. Thanks for posting them Natalie. BTW, you should really check out this site: http://cakeatthedevil.blogspot.com . It's a scrappy and humourous blog for the Norwegian hockey team written by my best friend/singer/rythm guitarist Alek (http://twitter.com/ABern55 he needs followers). It even has intenional misspellings of Cindy's name.

  2. Awesome. Thanks for passing on the site, Andy! Love what Alek's doing with everything. I just commented on his post, but I'll ask you over here, too: What's a good way to cheer for Team Norway in Norwegian? If they upset Team Canada, it would be the upset of the century.

  3. Thanks for posting them again (and thanks, Andy). Three of the Homer pictures actually come from my cousin, Nurse Nitz, who is quite fabulous herself :)

  4. Thanks, Andy!

    Sara, I fixed the post so we give credit to Nurse Nitz, as well. You guys are the best!

  5. Homer would never eat cats. I'd like to think of him armed with helmet and battle axe, screaming curses to Loki into the night wind! I bet if we go outdoors tonight at midnight, we might just hear his screams.

  6. Sorry, Krononymous, but I see Homer as a human version of Alf: kinda cuddly, hilarious, but with an affinity for eating cats. I'll concede that he should be a Viking version of Alf. That would be really appropriate, actually.

    I feel his pain among every single snowflake that has fallen here today.

  7. Whilst the collages of Homer and the Mule are nice, they do not even come close to my beloved Kronners'. Sigh.

    I picture Homer laying in a worn out Lay-Z-Boy, wearing boxers, no shirt, with Cheeto crumbs on his chest, screaming at the kids to shut up. Then he looks at the ironing board next to his chair and says to his wife, "Didn't you iron like 2 weeks ago, why is the ironing board still out?" Hi-lar-i-ous.

    On Franzies mustache: I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT.

    I have noticed that the love of my life has started to grow his hair out again. Sigh. I just wish he would shave on a regular basis.

  8. I can totally see Homer donning a helmet and howling into the darkness- my personal idea of what he does? Drowning his sorrows in pitepalt (a dish from his hometown which I really need to try someday, they just sound so good!) and then busting out his woodworking tools to craft some new masterpiece expressing the depth of his pain. I also love to imagina Homer pillaging Khabibulin's kitchen in the off season, maybe he makes Viking attacks on goalies to make him feel better too?

  9. Oh, and I'm rooting for a mulestache comeback too, it just took a day or two for how awesome it is to sink in... but a big Franzen beard is cool too

  10. I smell a "Where's She-Tuzzi" level of awesome coming...

    Homer is known to hunt deer with just a stick, change his oil (with his teeth) and eat only raw steak to exorcise his demons.

    When stressed, Homer doesn't go to Powerhouse. He builds his own gym out of old car parts (and brawwwwn). Afterwards, he skips the shower and instead opts for the grease bath. But only hot, used grease -- like where your fries just came from.

  11. I LOVE LOVE the idea of speculating about how Homer deals with this let-down. Considering he's practically a cult hero already, why not create a folk legend of Homer? I can't see Homer eating cats (though a Viking version of Alf is almost too perfect to even contemplate), but perhaps small rodentia/squirrels? I agree with Sara, he is drowning his sorrows in herring & pitepalt and spending some time wood-working in his garage. Late at night when he's lonely and watching the Olympics on crappy cable, he takes the Viking spears he's whittled by hand and uses them to throw at the TV whenever Finland plays. Or perhaps he just has a dartboard of Selanne/Koivu/everyone but Fil. And then he leaves inappropriate messages on Leino's voicemail making fun of how he STILL hasn't had any ice time in Philly. And when he gets really bored, and his leg is feeling better, he takes up the hobby of frolicking around trying to spot She-Tuzzi.

    In all honesty though, I was initally okay with the news because I was happy to see Mule go and Homer really does need to recuperate, but after reading the article that was in the Swedish newspaper about this being the biggest blow of his career, I felt so sad for him. It's gotta be hard to feel bad but at the same time, not make your teammate feel bad for replacing you. At least the spot went to a deserving player. I'd love to see the Mule-stache stay (I have a few more good pics from the other night, I'll have to send them your way, Natalie). I may have a few of Kronner as well.

    Also, thanks for the mention in the collage. My pics tend to not always be as clear as Sara's, but they zoom in better. But she's the one with the mad collage skills ;)

  12. Krononymous: Yep, Alf ate cats. I LOVED this show when I was a kid, probably because it was as weird as I am. :)

    Dena: Your description of Homer reminds me of how Baroque said a few weeks ago that Homer should be in his own episode of Wingspan and/or sitcom. Couldn't you just imagine it? It would be great. (I'm actually not kidding: A. Homer is awesome. B. Look at all the fucktards who get their own reality TV shows nowadays.)

    Sara and Nurse Nitz: I'm going to be honest. I had to look up what pitepalt is. And now that I've read all about it, I have to say it sounds delicious. Do you think Homer would be my friend if I agreed to make this for him every day for life? Also, Sara, when I read what you wrote, I got this instant vision of him angrily whittling a voodoo doll or something. The image was quite hilarious.

    Michael: On a similar note, Homer's dream is to live long enough to see the time when biochemistry and astronomy have advanced to the point of allowing humans to live on the sun. Because he doesn't burn. He just scabs. Only his scabs aren't like normal scabs; they're superhuman helioshield(R) scabs that make him immune to even the most punishing of thermodynamic problems.

    Nurse Nitz: The thought of Homer tormenting Ville Leino is HILarious. Maybe THAT'S why I feel a soulmate-like connection to him. I also love the self-made Viking darts. I bet he laces them with poison, too--just for good measure.

    You're right that Franzen deserved to play in the Olympics, and I felt really bad for him for the snub, too. I just feel even worse for Homer since this could be his last chance at playing in the Olympics. Poor Homer. Maybe his newfound folk hero status will somehow find its way into his heart while he's screaming into the night wind.

    I just want to throw one more idea out there: Homer is the most mischievous tomte in all of Sweden. I've always kind of suspected it, but ever since I saw that clip of Homer talking about the "meanness" of Santa Claus ("Jultomte"), it's just too appropriate for words. Can't you just picture him in one of the red pointy hats?

  13. Natalie: Homer did dress up as the Jultomte for the Lidstrom boys before he had his own kids, but I'd wager he was nice to them... When he isn't dealing with his bff's kids though? Definitely draws on his mischievous side and pulls all kinds of tricks- socks in a Wii box and all that good stuff. Sweden won't know what hit it

  14. Natalie - Sara & I became literally obsessed with the idea of pitepalt after Homer described it in an interview where he was talking about his hometown and what it was known for. I think it was when they were interviewing the Swedes before going to Sweden for the opening of the season. Basically, Homer described them as huge dumplings, about 3 times the size of regular ones, and that you can't eat them on game days because afterwards you need to take a nap. I pretty much love any food that requires you to take a nap afterwards. Sara scoured the internet for a recipe and finally found one, and we're still looking for a way to score some "winter potatoes" to make them someday. We always promise Homer lots of pitepalt if he plays a good game ;)

    We are also guilty of having "Swedish food" parties when we don't have to work after a big win. Granted, it's food from IKEA, so who knows how "authentic" it is, and we don't really like herring, but Swedish pancakes, lingonberry jam & meatballs make for an awesome time. If only Kronwall would crash our party...