28 February 2010

Canada - America's Hat. Fuck Canada, today only!

usThe patriotism runs deep today at the Octopus, and we could not be happier to be watching the gold medal game today while getting shit housed at the local bar (TSO readers - we hope you can be counted on for bail-related issues).

Today's game is going to be intense. As Petrella noted on his lovely post regarding the game, you notice that the general theme so far in this game is how America doesn't really have a chance; Canada is going to roll, etc. Yes, Canada has found another gear, but we did beat them. In this tournament. Last week. It did happen, promise.

Team Canada is better in just about every way on paper. They're deeper, more star power, more aged veterans, better coaching (have you ever heard the words "Man, Ron Wilson just outcoached".....used in a sentence?), better just about everything. Team USA, however, is the epitome of scrappy. They're young and hungry. They play well together, and, gasp, Ron Wilson has been a good leader for this team. (During one game broadcast, Roenick stated Wilson was "perfect for a short tournament." Being that it's JR I immediately ignored it because he is a jackass. I guess he was right.) Rafalski has been great, I've developed a new appreciation for Brooks Orpik (which will last for about another day, at which point I will return to hoping he catches herpes). Jack Johnson has been sitting, waiting, wishing for this forever (ha!). There have been many, many surprises in this tournament, but for me personally, the biggest one is how incredibly likable this team is. I remember Nagano, when the USA men's team trashed their rooms at the Olympics. Disappointing finish, and certainly not a likeable team, highlighted by such jackasses as Bill Guerin and Jeremy Roenick (and seriously, is any team which houses Guy Herbert going anywhere?).

Look, TSO has been, and always will be, American. I'll support America in any international athletic endeavour. This game feels a bit more special. The potential to beat the Canadians on their own soil. Canada, the country who acts as if Olympic gold in hockey is their birthright. An arrogance I feel is maddening. I wish nothing but the best for Babs and Stevie. I will feel bad if they lose, as they may not make it out of GM Place alive. But this game, this time.......USA! USA!!!!!

And now, two housekeeping items.

1. If Team USA wins this game, you can expect a TSO Brian dance number. It will happen. I already have it drunkenly choreographed....IN MY MIND.

2. A little something to get you pumped for the game. There is no better way. Skip ahead to the 1:39 mark:


  1. USA! USA! USA!

    I don't feel bad for Babcock and Yzerman at all - they're big boys, they'll be fine, and it isn't their fault that Perry, Niedermayer, Getzlaf, and Pronger are such jackasses.

    Man, the Japanese spammers have been active today. They hit Tyler at TTD too. :)

  2. Several reasons why I heart this post:

    1. You dropped a hard "fuck" in the title. First time ever! I'm so excited for this TSO milestone and am going to commemorate it by getting even more shithoused.

    2. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for using my Jack Johnson lameass joke.

    3. I am going to recreate Charlie's ensemble and wear it today. Rock. Flag. And Fucking Eagle.

  3. THIS IS A TEAM USA POST. YOU SPAM IN AMERICAN TODAY OR YOU GET THE FUCK OUT. Sorry, channeling my native West Virginian brethren....

    Baroque, I wouldn't feel bad about the hurt feelings. They are big boys, they've been at the top, hoisting a Cup, and they do have some horses asses on that team. TSO even supports hurt feelings; I know I venture to local schools on my lunch break to steal kids lunch monies; not because I need it, but because its fun.....

    But as drastic as Canadian fans seem about this whole "we deserve the gold" stuff......Babcock and Stevie may have to fight their way out. Bad times.....

    Probably not. fuck Canada.

  4. Me and a couple of mates are ditching the raging partying tonight, to get drunk and cheer for USA at a sports bar here in Vienna. Rafa deserves this, and as you pointed out Brian, team USA are a likeable and scrappy bunch (with the exception of 20 cent). So go RAFA and go USA.

  5. Babcock I take against any drunken belligerent pack of disgruntled Canadian hockey fans - and if they touch Yzerman in anger it will bring down great hockey misfortunes upon their nation, even greater than not always winning the medal they feel they are entitled to.

    I'd kind of like to see them lay waste to the pagans on their way out of the rink. :)

  6. And definitely second the point about the how likable the team is this time. I can't cheer for players that I don't like - and Canada is chock-full of them.

  7. Andy - Good on you sir. Enjoy Vienna, and enjoy the bar.

    Baroque - You swayed me. I think Babs could certainly fight his way out of there.

    I think if i'm going to try to convince Nat to tweet from the bar today. fun times!


    I too love this scrappy American team, and let's not forget also that Slovakia came back on their asses. That's what happens when a team plays defense against Team Canada (I'm looking at you Team Russia).

    At the show I went to last night in Chicago there was a rousing chant of "USA! USA! USA!" in anticipation of the game tonight.

    Flippy got a bronze last night, Raffy's winning the gold tonight!!! Go USA!!!

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  10. Here's my biggest problem with Canadians and hockey: they always feel they're entitled and God's Gift to the Sport. BUT...

    The USA has more Olympic gold medals than Canada in the past fifty years...but no one gives Team USA credit (outside of the Miracle)

    I know the number of teams isn't equal, but only two of the past twenty Stanley Cup winners have been from the great hockey nation of Canada. If you're simply going by averages, they should have twice that many.

    I want only good things for Mike Babcock and Steve Yzerman, but for that entire nation to forget a whole seven days ago is unreal. No one is as cocky as the United States, but the amount of bullshit flowing south is unbelievable given RECENT HISTORY.

    Oh, also, the World Juniors. The story is how Canada blew it, and not how USA Hockey has grown to be competitive. For some reason, they're still looked at as little brother in the hockey world -- ranked fifth internationally, etc.

    I was unaware that you get bonus points for the amount of importance you put on things. We shouldn't even bother playing the World Cup Soccer Tourney this summer... it's obvious that England is entitled to the trophy. Even though they haven't won a goddamn thing in 44 years.

    One of these days, someone's going to knock Canada off of their hockey pedestal and fail to give them the right-of-way for absolutely no reason other than they invented the game (and we're eternally grateful).

  11. Don't mean to be an ass, but GO CANADA GO!

    *runs away*

    But in all seriousness, I wish you good luck, it's gonna be a great matchup. Actually the game just started and no score so far. Today, we're rivals, but tomorrow we will all be cheering for the same team again: our beloved RED WINGS!

    Go Wings and good luck again to you, American friends.

  12. Congrats on Canada's win, patleb940. In any event, it was a hell of a game, right?