If you're not first, you're last.

Ah, the immortal words of Ricky Bobby. They could be used to describe the San Jose Sharks. Except not really. Because they have been first. Last year, they won the President's Trophy, leading the League with 117 points. Alas, they were eliminated in the first round of playoffs by the Anaheim Ducks (bleh).

I don't really like the Sharks. To be honest with you, the only real reason I dislike them is because they perpetually underachieve. They give Detroit a run for their money in winning the Western Conference, and then they disappear during the playoffs. It's irritating that they demand to be taken seriously...but only until April. Probably not the best reason to dislike a team, but that's just how I roll.



(Oh, and anybody who assigns "deep Pacific teal" as a team color is undoubtedly demented.)

So, yes, the Sharks circle (surround? attack? stalk? what the fuck else do sharks do?) the Joe tonight, looking for a back-to-back win after their victory in Columbus last night. Last night was also their sixth win a row. The Wings are looking for their third straight win, and Chris Osgood will be starting in goal tonight (after his 50th career shutout on Tuesday...god, am I horrible at not writing recaps for games I didn't get to watch).

I'm really sad right now that I won't be in Detroit tonight. Maybe I would have been lucky and gotten to see this in person:



Amazingly, I think I found this woman's house on YouTube. Too early to think about Christmas? Nah. If this doesn't get you pumped for the holiday season, then you're a godless heathen, and I don't like you:



***

Completely superfluous and unrelated, but I have to do it. Saw this on Deadspin, the mother of all things fabulous, and I couldn't resist.



My new heroes, hands down. Happy belated Halloween, boys and girls. I would give 20 cents anything for you guys to enjoy this as much as I do.