18 November 2009

Chicago fans (of any sport) are the worst people in the world.

The Scrappy Octopus's own part-time investigative journalist/full-time door-to-door electric fence salesperson Brian unearthed this little ditty from Deadspin. I think you guys are really going to enjoy this. You may have even heard this one before.

So, a Steelers fan walks into a bar. The bar happens to be in Chicago. It also happens to be a day when the Steelers are playing the Bears. The Steelers lose the game, good-hearted trash-talking ensues, and then a Bears fan ends up sending the Steelers fan a "peace offering"--a drink laced with toxic grain alcohol. And the Pittsburgh fan has nothing to show for his troubles because he's blind.

Not long after taking the drink, Heddinger passed out and was rushed to a nearby hospital, his heart stopping four times. At first, doctors thought he had too much to drink, but realized there was more to it.

"They thought it was antifreeze or something like that …because it was so strong," said Heddinger.

Heddidger's family even flew to Chicago because they thought he was going to die. He says his vision has still not returned and he may have suffered permanent brain damage. According to the report, doctors now say he might have been poisoned by "toxic grain alcohol"...
See, I would have suspected something a little more creative from these cats, maybe a "foie gras"-topped hot dog (and by "foie gras", I mean rat poison).


  1. I would expect this from Boston fans. Not Chicago. Wow.


  2. I know. Very disturbing. We should all write a mental note warning ourselves to be aware of this garbage. I made a joke at the end of this post, but it really isn't funny when you think about it.

  3. wtf. I didn't even know there was such thing as toxic grain alcohol. Is it grain alcohol that's so strong it's toxic, or something else in it? it's really sad anyone would do that.

  4. I have no idea; I was wondering that myself. Is it Everclear laced with cyanide? Moonshine distilled in containers that used to house antifreeze? If I hear anything else related to this, I'll be sure to post a Scrappy Octopus update. Ooh, that sounds so official...