25 April 2011

Who's this clown?

The Scrappy Octopus has been most generous in inviting me to come say a few words every once in a while. Who am I? Just a fellow Red Wings fan. What makes you think you can blog about the Wings? I don't, really. I will never rely on "stats" or "facts". I won't use "rationale". I will scream Fuck You at the top of my lungs just to win an argument. But seriously all joking aside, I am too lazy to create my own blog, and there are already enough good ones out there. I am just happy to pop in, write some crazy shit for some like minded people, and then steal away like a thief in the night. On the twitter you might know me as @Flapjack_McZap. In real life you might know me as Zac, lover of fine hams.

Let's get down to some business toot sweet.

So the Norris nods came out and it shouldn't be any surprise that Lidstrom was nominated. Let us look at the other nominees. Shea 'Unfrozen Caveman' Weber and Zdeno 'Swingin Neckbreaker' Chara. I don't know if Chara was thrown in there because of his +/- or what. Hell, if you try to base it on numbers, Brian Rafalski had stats comparable to that of Chara and Weber with 20 less games. But as long as Lidstrom is around all other D-men for the Wings will always be bridesmaids but never the bride. Quite honestly, you can take any defenseman in the top 20 and make a case for every one of them.

But fuck all that noise. Chara is out because of the 'Hit'. And Lidstrom beats out Weber because.....how does this go? Oh yeah, Lidstrom is a better defenseman than Weber.

Speaking of Weber. I know a lot of Wings fans hate that guy, but he's a restricted free agent next year and I like the cut of his motherfuckin' jib. And for all of you haters out there, I understand, this is like the Chelios situation for me. For a lot of people he WAS the Blackhawks. It took me a couple of seasons to get used to him being a Red Wing. And now look, he's our beloved Chelios.

I am getting really anxious for round 2 of the playoffs to start. I'm totally, "yay for the sweep", but I want to watch my team again.

One last thing before I go. Can we as a society all agree to stop using pun titles for blogs and websites where you substitute a form of the word 'puck' for a form of the word 'fuck'. I'm sorry, but its so played out. Remember, puns are the mimes of the joke community. And nobody likes a mime. Or mimery. Or mimeness. If we don't put a stop to this now we will end up like Idiocracy and wind up getting all of our hockey information from Butt Puckers.com.


  1. *Quietly throws away domain registration application for ButtPuckers.com, whistles idly*

    Love it.

    I don't hate Weber and I'd love like Christmas Morning having sex with the Fourth of July for Shea to bring his horrifying beard to Detroit, but I hear a lot of love for the guy and I have to keep reminding myself that when he becomes a Wing, I'll open my arms as wide as possible to welcome him, but until then, fuck that guy.

    Lidstrom wins the Norris because he's the one defenseman every coach in the league would take for one game.

  2. Holy crap, that's Shea's beard. I thought that was a dead mongoose he killed with his death jaw.

  3. Oh, my god...there's actually something on this blog from this year! My heart soars. Thanks for brightening up our corner of the internet, friend.

    I agree with you infinity percent about Weber: He's one of those people I love to hate when we're playing Nashville, but I'd love if he was on our team.

    P.S. It's funny that you say you are a lover of fine hams because even though you've never said that to me specifically, you just give off that vibe.

  4. Not only do I give off that vibe, but that odor too. "Hey Zac, do you smell ham?"
    "That would be me. Black Forest if you must know."

  5. I am so happy I decided to visit ScrappyOctopusville today, you made an otherwise boring morning quite tolerable :) And I'm with Natalie, you do strike me as a lover of fine hams. That's probably why I burst out laughing when I read that