07 January 2012

A Very Scrappy Announcement

Do you want the good news first, or the great news? Well, since I'm the one writing this shit, I get to decide. The good news first then. The Wings are back in action tonight against the Leafs. For some reason it seems like they haven't played in eons. So hopefully Holmstrom and Helm have been getting plenty of groin massages. Not at the same time mind you because that would be creepy. Plus it costs a lot extra if you are into that sort of thing. Let's get back to hockey talk since this was starting to head down Hudler Road, which runs right through the heart of the red light district.

This game is a chance for the Red Wings to jump on top of the Central. With the Blackhawks on a three game skid and an upcoming tilt against said team, the Wings need to grab the Central by the horns and wrassle it to the ground. January needs to be a pull-away month leaving the Blues and the Hawks slap fighting for second place.

No realignment. I'm not weighing in on this one yet. I'm just going to sit back and pray that this isn't a harbinger of doom in regards to the CBA.

Discher made a very interesting proposal to the Blue Jackets yesterday at The Production Line. http://theproductionline.us/an-open-letter-to-scott-howson-and-the-city-of-columbus/

Here is what we need to do to make this a plausible reality. Everyone start calling Ericsson by his full name. Which according to me happens to be Jonathan Loui Eriksson. Remember to spell his last name with the 'k' to solidify my ruse. When talking about him, drop the Jonathan and use Loui because I am told by people that he prefers to use his middle name. Yes, I realize you all saw where this was going by the second sentence. But keep in mind, teams took Lebda, so sometimes simple ruses are sometimes the best.

Alright then. It's time to move on to the great news. The founders of this fine establishment have made a verbal agreement to, at some point in the near future, enter into the alliance of holy matrimony. A most sincere congratulations from the MacRostie household goes out to Brian and Natalie.

I am working with my non-existent contacts to get Todd Bertuzzi to perform the ceremony. Wouldn't that be rad. I think I could persuade him to do it for a case of PBR and a basket of kittens. Somebody suggested that Juri Hudler be in charge of the bachelor party. Are you insane? If I have learned anything from Hollywood, its that a dead hooker really kills the buzz of the celebration. Plus, with all of his KHL money tied up some 900 number scheme, it would mean everyone else is paying for the blow. And Juri's motto is, "No blow, no show".

If anyone has any ceremony suggestions, just put them in the comments.

All kidding aside, I am extremely happy for you two. This is great news for a great couple.

Now Let's Go Red Wings

And a bonus Let's Go Lions


  1. Thank you to a hahas-ful pal and keeper of the TSO magic. For the record, I'm fine with any suggestions for the ceremony from the public. I'm thinking maybe a pinata in the form of #52 should be involved in the reception (because that IS how they do things down here in WV). Also maybe a three-way vow exchange involving Aaron Downey. Note: These ideas have only been approved by 1/2 of the couple involved.

    1. I believe as long as you let him snuggle the Zetterbeard, the other 1/2 of the Scrappy couple might approve.

  2. Oh, holy cow, a wedding has a ton of moving parts. For favors, I always thought that peppermint patties look like hockey pucks, so for favors you could have candy in white bags tied with bright red ribbons. If flowers weren't pretty much essential, you could have the bridesmaids carry small hockey sticks (maybe goalie sticks with your names in red on the extra-wide blades?) instead of bouquets, and toss a hat instead of your wedding bouquet.

    I have no clue. There are many reason other than the obvious that I am single - and if I ever get married, it's going to be as simple as possible because I hate planning things. :P

    Cath (Baroque97)