30 August 2010


Figuring out how to start the first post I've written in nearly three months is the blogging equivalent of debating whether to wave to someone you kindasorta recognize because you know that you'll most likely have to do that thing where you pretend like you were batting at a bug or attempting to take flight and NOT, in fact, claiming you know a complete stranger.

I couldn't even think of an appropriate title, so I'm leaving it "Untitled," hoping especially that you'll think of distracting mancreases (How does it feeeeee-eeeeeel?) and decide that you're still in love with us after all this time.

So, uh, yeah, hello again, friends!

Brian and I sincerely hope everyone has had a bonerific summer. I decided it was probably time to get back into the swing of writing after three things occurred: (1) HBFF Neuie pointed out that her Starbucks will start selling pumpkin spice Frappuccinos TOMORROW, which means fall is right at our (back)doorstep. (2) Another Neuie-inspired joint: The phrase "at least [insert number] Scrappy Octopi" became a term coined for when something happens really infrequently or happened long ago, such as "Todd Bertuzzi has been forced to gum it out for at least four Scrappy Octopi." (3) Someone informed me that even Google had turned cynical:

First things first: Because there's nothing we dislike more than unresolved bidness, we have something to say to the small faction of Wings' fans who jumped ship and cheered on the Hawks during their Cup run: See that big X in the upper-right corner of your screen? Please click it. Note that there's a tag on here entitled "I fucking hate the Chicago Blackhawks" that's as old as the site itself. Rivalries exist for a reason, and I'll give you a hint: That reason isn't so that we can jump on the newest, glitteriest bandwagon that shows up once our team is down for the count, even if said bandwagon happens to include Patrick Sharp and Jonathan Toews, who are OMFGCOPTERSOCUTE.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, here goes--we're gearing down and keying up for the 2010-11 season. A brief (as if we'd spend more than 30 seconds on a list? puh-leeze...) list of things we are excited for heading into this brand new season, in no particular order:

1. Aaron Downey's slated appearance at training camp. OK, so this statement clearly applies to only 1/2 of the TSO staff. But the news that he was extended an invitation is cause enough for celebration. Dance party, anyone?

2. The re-signing of Helmer and Abdelkader, hereafter referred to as more fuckyeah than you can shake a stick at.

3. Long-term blog BFFs Petrella, Discher, and Hollis have joined forces by forming a triumvirate of mythical proportions. This includes rolling The Production Line and the Red Wings podcast now known as The Production Hour into one uber-conglomerate of awesomeness.

4. Welcoming Marty Turco to the Central Division.

5. Watching the majority of the Wings' roster pop their Geritol and hobble onto the ice using their canes in an old-fashioned race to the top of the West. Be careful not to choke on your horehound lozenges, boys! (This is the time of year when we most remember why we try not to pay attention to MSM. Attention 2011 NHL Yearbook: Pointing out that Bert is "showing some wear and tear" is akin to pointing out that the sky is blue and Roger Sterling is a silver foxxx. Duh.)

With training camp and the preseason mere weeks away, what are y'all most excited for? What's lit your fire and keeping you awake at night? Is it pondering the future successes of our goaltenders? Is it imagining the number of times Doug Janik falls down? (Brian's fave.) Is it vigorously debating whether Ruslan Salei looks more or less like a Craigslist personals' enthusiast than Ville Leino?

Let's go, Wings.


  1. Welcome back crazy lady! Your writing has been sorely missed :D

  2. Thanks, Andy! Glad to be back in the saddle. Yee-haw!

  3. This is amazing. Ruslan salei DOES look like a serial killer. I cannot wait for the season to start and this is a fitting jump start to it

  4. Wooo, my Octopi quotient has been dangerously low the last few months. Glad to have ya back. I'm just counting the time till the first wings game.(39 days, 2 hours, 47 min and 20 seconds)

  5. Thank God you're back! It's been so lonely this summer. And my violent wit quotient hasn't been met in MONTHS!

  6. So I stopped by on a whim and cannot tell you how happy I was to see a new post. Seriously, what a fantastic way to cap off the day! I was worried that I would have to wait until hockey started, it was a sad thought

    You're right, fall is officially sorta here now that we have Pumpkin Spice again, perfect time to flex the writing muscles and exercise your sparkling yet dangerous wit :)

    As to your question- I am looking forward to training camp like a kid counting down to Christmas. Beyond that, the home opener, the restarting of all my favorite blogs, taking too many pictures again and H2H2 (hanging out with both Scrappy Octopi and the local commune and Andy and hopefully Herm? AMAZING) are what I am most looking forward to right now. So happy you're back, you've been missed

  7. WHAT IS UP G? We haven't talked in like 5 minutes. (This is true)

    The thing I am most looking forward to is seeing Tom Poti live and in the flesh when the Caps come to town. He's fucking Ahhhhmazing.

    And as always:


  8. Wings_Fan_In_KC (from A2Y) says:

    I would rather rip my arms off and have them shoved up my ass than root for the Shitcago Butthawks.

    Glad to see someone else hates them as much as I do. Those who rooted for the Skanks during there trip to the Cup......they can suck ass.