03 July 2011
Christmas in July started and I think the Red Wings did pretty good. We got a classic piece of tech-the Commodore 64. Sure, it's not an i-pad or some android device, but this could be fun. We got our functional household gift in Ian White. It's not flashy, but it does its job. It may not have been what you wanted, but it was definitely something you needed. Our beer of the month club was extended with Miller and our favorite magazine subscription was renewed with Eaves. And then some asshole re-gifted a pair of their shitty underwear with that Ericsson deal.
Mike Commodore gets to be the Bertuzzi of this coming season. Not the Bertuzzi that we all now know and love, but the Bertuzzi that first signed on for his second stint as a Red Wing. Some of us were unsure, some of us were pissed, some of us were indifferent and took the wait and see approach. Personally, I love this signing. The Wings get a big body and someone who knows how to use it. The Red Wings also get someone who will drop the gloves, and that will alleviate the pressure from Bertuzzi who always had to be the glove dropper.
"Hey Bert. I didn't like that hit on Z. Let's send them a message and give us a spark."
"Can't Abby do that? I'm feeling like a shooter tonight."
"I know you've got the hot hand tonight, but Ab-Der-kader lost control of his stick and stabbed someone through the head."
Sure, Commodore isn't going to score a jillion points and that's cool. But now the Wings added some toughness to the back end. And I promise everyone that I will no longer use Commodore 64 unless that becomes the jersey number he chooses. Oh, and Mike, please bring back that glorious afro. The kind of afro that makes you think, "Is this guy in one of those named-after-a-place bands like Boston or Kansas?"
I know that some people were pissed after the Ian White signing, not because they didn't want Ian White, but because that meant that Brendan Smith wasn't going to have a spot with the big club. Settle down, Smith will get his chance. And seriously people, when have the Red Wings rushed anyone up? But I digress. Back to White. This move has a lot of potential. White is a defenseman used in all situations. You may look at his point totals and think, "Big whoop, we lost a bunch of points off the back end with Rafalski retiring." True, but look at the teams he played for. The Leafs and the Flames. Now it's time for Zac's fake stat corner. If you take the 10 points in 23 games with the Sharks, who are a much better team then the Leaf and Flames, and keep that production going for a whole season with a good team, you could be looking at a 40-50 point D-man. And let's face it, how consistent can you be playing for 3 teams in one season? Plus, for playing in his first playoffs he did pretty good.
Now I have a serious question for everyone. Does Jonny Ericsson have pictures of Babcock giving Holland a hand-job or something? I do not understand a) how this kid is still a Red Wing and b) how this guy commands this kind of contract. With this deal that $hitbox (trademark TPL) got, I just throw my hands in the air. Only I am waving them like I DO care. I seriously have a fantasy that Kenny has this brilliant master play regarding the fate of Ericsson that has our jaws dropping like when you first saw the ending of The Usual Suspects. We will be replaying key moments of Jonny's Red Wing career, with Holland sound bites spliced in, in black and white as well as slo-mo, to make it all dramatic and artsy. And then we will never doubt Kenny 'Kaiser Soze' Holland again.
All in all I am pretty happy with the deals the Red Wings have made. And if they want to pick up Conklin as a back up, I am cool with that too. So I say we just roll with this. This is good. As always, the Wings have some good players in the pipeline that I would be comfortable seeing getting a shot if things go that way and now there is a stash in the piggy bank if things go terribly awry. So hurry up October, I want to see this shit in action.