14 May 2011

Well Crap, 'cause I don't golf

I'm not going to lie. That was a tough loss to take. For me it's because I really can't stand the Sharks. And a big part of that comes down to their captain. I don't think Thornton is captain material. Captains don't dive, plain and simple. Captains don't start shit just because they are a douchebag. As Red Wings fans we have been extremely spoiled for over two decades because we have had two of the best captains ever. I compare the rest of the league's captains to Steve Yzerman, and I always will. And if they are even half the captain he was, then I guess that is pretty good.

So overall, (minus winning the cup) this was a pretty good season. We have learned some things. Like one Jimmy Howard is a playoff goalie, no question. He had good win stats this year and if he gets his GA down and his SP up, then we have a Vezina goaltender on our hands.

We have learned that we will probably have to invent new words to describe Pavel Datsyuk plays. Seriously, dude pulled some sick shit out this year. I am trying to invent a word that combines Fucking awesome, Holy shit, That just blew my mindhole, and I think I just jizzed in my pants. It's not going so well because I think I dislocated my tongue. If Datsyuk didn't get injured, I'm going to say that he would have been adding a Hart trophy to the trophy case.

We have also learned that Red Wings fans are the coolest ever. H2H2 is testament to that. I wish I had the opportunity to talk to more people than I did. I wish I had clinked glasses of Ghettoblaster with more people. I wish less people puked on our floor, naw, it's okay, you got this.

Now I have seen people screaming for people's heads on the twitter. Fire this guy, trade that guy. This guy's contract is ridiculous. And this shit was happening before the handshake line. Settle down people. A little side note about the handshake line. Did you all notice that Hank leaned in and said a little something to every Shark he shook hands with? That is because he is all class.

There are some big decisions that individual players have to make about retirement. That goes a long way into figuring out the other pieces of the equation. There have been many people saying we NEED another 30 goal scorer. Really? Last time the Wings did that they picked up Hossa. How did that turn out? Sure, another scorer would be nice, but it seems that the Wings do better when they have more double digit scorers. But then again, when it comes to sports, one can always cite stats that make their argument look bulletproof.

So we all just need to relax. Me bitching about Ericsson on the interwebs is not going to change the Wings mind about what they are going to with him. Even though if you notice that anybody paired up with him looks like shit because they are doing the job of two defensemen. So when Rafalski gets to look like an ass because the Shitbox blew another assignment, by all means, call for Rafalski's head.

All you Red Wing blogs out there, keep blogging throughout the summer. How the hell else am I supposed to get my news, by watching ESPN? Not fucking likely. I like getting the real scoop with a dash of opinions and rants. You all do an awesome job and it breaks up the monotony of surfing for porn.

And lastly I really have to thank Brian and Natalie for letting me join in on these reindeer games. I am already looking forward to next season. And who am I rooting for the rest of the playoffs? Honestly, I just want the Sharks to go down. I always cheer against the team that eliminated the team I root for. So I guess I am cheering for the Yzerbolts.

08 May 2011

Happy Mothers Day, here's a free ticket aboard the stress train.

A big ole' Word To Your Mother for all of the moms out there today. Just a quick little what's up before the game.

Hey Clowe, it's Mother's Day, not Motherfuckers Day. Just so you know, you don't have to be a motherfucker today, unlike all the rest of the days of your miserable life. You can go be a douche on your own time you whiny jagoff. A perfect place for that would of been the pressbox you instigating motherfucker. I see you started celebrating your misunderstood holiday a couple of days early. Not only with your actions at the end of the last game but also by your statements to the press. Clowe, I want you to stand in front of a mirror and answer me this. How the fuck do you fight the urge to punch yourself in your stupid-ass face? In the garden of life, you sir, are the dickweed.

Let's go Red Wings